Palpatine’s on the verge of a promotion; Padme’s ready to throw down; Obi-Wan has another wonderful day.
Vader is, as usual, harder to kill than expected; this round of Crystal Quest pays off.
Qui-Gon collects his winnings; Anakin says a significant goodbye (and a significant hello); Palpatine is, was, and ever shall be the goddamn worst.
Mace, Yoda and Obi-Wan are really bumming me out; Anakin’s looking for a quick fix; Sidious is lining it all up.
Qui-Gon makes the galaxy’s most significant bet; Anakin probably buys that Boonta Eve poster he keeps in his room later.
Artoo saves the gang for the first of what is surely at least a hundred times by now; it’s time once again for some coarse, rough, irritating sand.
Padme’s got a secret; Anakin doesn’t know what he wants (and doesn’t know what a metaphor is.)
Having survived the first part of their assignment, the Jedi Kids Club takes to the sky — and runs into the Jedi Order’s Crazy Drunk Uncle.
We go back to the beginning, which is easily as weird and dorky as the middle and the end. (Also Obi-Wan’s terrible haircut is there.)
Vader continues his Crystal Quest, only to get his ass kicked by a Jedi (for like the second time this week).