SNARK WARS – Recaps and commentary for Star Wars TV, Films, Comics and More

Star Wars, Episode I, Part IV: The Jedi Path

Qui-Gon collects his winnings; Anakin says a significant goodbye (and a significant hello); Palpatine is, was, and ever shall be the goddamn worst.

Mace, Yoda and Obi-Wan are really bumming me out; Anakin’s looking for a quick fix; Sidious is lining it all up.

Qui-Gon makes the galaxy’s most significant bet; Anakin probably buys that Boonta Eve poster he keeps in his room later.

Artoo saves the gang for the first of what is surely at least a hundred times by now; it’s time once again for some coarse, rough, irritating sand.

Padme’s got a secret; Anakin doesn’t know what he wants (and doesn’t know what a metaphor is.)

Having survived the first part of their assignment, the Jedi Kids Club takes to the sky — and runs into the Jedi Order’s Crazy Drunk Uncle.

We go back to the beginning, which is easily as weird and dorky as the middle and the end. (Also Obi-Wan’s terrible haircut is there.)

Vader continues his Crystal Quest, only to get his ass kicked by a Jedi (for like the second time this week).

Bail and Obi-Wan’s road trip enters what feels like its 18th week; Wild Space shows its face.

Naboo’s in trouble again, and Padme knows just the dorks to help her save the day.