STAR WARS RECAPS AND COMMENTARY. (THE FUN KIND.)

Obi-Wan Kenobi, Season 1, Episode 4: Take My Hand

Obi-Wan Kenobi, Season 1, Episode 4: Part 4

Welcome back to the series that is, gradually, becoming less Obi-Wan Kenobi, Permanent Resident of the Heartbreak Hotel, and more and more How Obi-Wan Kenobi Got His Groove Back. And, really: thank God! I’m not sure how much more I could take. MY POOR BABY.

But we’re not quite back to Full Strength Obes Kenobes just yet, because as you’ll recall, at the end of our previous episode, Obi-Wan and Anakin crossed paths for the first time since the Very Bad Last Time, and this time it ended with Obi-Wan as the party on fire and in need of medical intervention. OK, it’s terrible and I’m not saying they SHOULD do it, but if Vader gets set on fire AGAIN in the final duel of this show, I will laugh until I cry and send Lucasfilm $5 in the mail. Maybe we can get George back for a minute to re-re-re-edit A New Hope one last time while we’re at it, and get some CG flames added to the Death Star Duel.

So we left things with Vader stalking off back to wherever (I’m still cackling that a badly injured Obi-Wan was slightly too far away/annoying for Vader to get to SO ANAKIN JUST IMMEDIATELY LEFT AFTER TEN YEARS OF SEARCHING. He really is the absolute laziest.) Obi-Wan got assisted by Jedi sympathizers and was headed for treatment on Jabiim, and Baby Leia had walked right into Reva’s trap, because apparently Reva is capable of bending the laws of time and space and somehow beat Leia to the ship Leia was headed for. LOL. Oh Star Wars. You are sincerely the best.

In today’s edition, a bunch of stuff I have had on my wish list — of both the “they should do this and I think they might” variety AND of the “I wish they’d do this but I’m sure they won’t” variety — occurs, and I am at once both speechless and FULL of words over it.

All right. These two idiots aren’t gonna recap themselves, you know, so let’s hop to it.

Recurring Theme: Shirtless Nightmare

Episode 4 begins, for real, with a Shirtless Nightmare.

Technically, a WET Shirtless Nightmare.

Actually, TWO Wet Shirtless Nightmares.

Scratch that: Two Wet, FORCE-BONDED Shirtless Nightmares. I cannot even begin to deal with this. I am both laughing AND very upset.

All right, let me set the stage for this insanity: so Obi-Wan’s really really hurt, and so initially we see him fading in and out of consciousness en route to Jabiim:

He hears people scurrying around him, trying to get things ready for his treatment. Yep, my friends, it’s Bacta Tank Time:

We can see a bunch of the damage that’s been done to the side of him that got, uh, grilled over direct heat:

But. BUT. It turns out Obi-Wan’s not the ONLY one who thought they’d go for a dip to treat their terrible wounds. Yes, as always, if Obi-Wan’s doing something, well, Anakin’s gonna do it too! We hear Vader breathing and see some shots of his back and his badly damaged arms:

And then, because Star Wars has NO CHILL WHATSOEVER, we start seeing them sharing some sort of mind-meld/Force-bond/synchronized flashback, as we see snippets of their confrontation. At the same time, they both begin to react, starting to move around more and thrash their heads around:

Obi-Wan hears Vader’s voice:

I…OK, if in 2005 you’d told me “Oh yeah, in 17 years the boys will be back in live action again, with the same actors, sharing angsty visions with each other while they’re both shirtless in bacta tanks” I would have laughed at you and then asked where you posted your fanfics. I can’t believe I got Nearly Nude Force Bonding with these two, IN CANON, WHAT IN THE ENTIRE HELL IS HAPPENING? What is GOING ON OVER THERE, LUCASFILM? Man, at last: the inmates are running the asylum. I can’t believe it. God bless us, everyone.

This goes on for a while, and then eventually Obi-Wan is shocked into consciousness again, flinging his eyes open:

He claws his way up to the top of the tank, treating us all to the most scantily-clad shot of Obi-Wan EVER (not to be confused with the “most scantily-clad shot of Ewan ever”, because, uh, well, if you know, you know):

I love the guy in the bottom left corner. He looks like he’s either doing sound engineering on a reel-to-reel tape (“…OK, that take sounded a little garbled, Obi-Wan, let’s try it again with you NOT submerged in liquid”), choosing a song on the jukebox at a 1990s Pizza Hut, or about to start busting out some oldies but goodies on a vintage Wurlitzer organ.

Recurring Theme: Obi-Wan Loves Leia

He hoists himself over the side a bit, and Tala starts freaking out because he’s not supposed to be out of the bacta yet. Lady, this is a guy who once, in the Olde EU, basically WILLED himself to not die because he was too busy. If he wants out of that tank, he’s GETTING out.

He begins to try and ask a question.

Obi-Wan ignores her chiding and his open burn wounds and broken heart and PTSD and Force migraine and bad back and God knows how many old war injuries and that one tooth that’s been bugging him and heartburn and sunburn and wet swim skirt AND the fact that that harness thing looks like it’s REALLY digging into his pits, and asks:

Recurring Theme: Skywalker Syndrome

Would you like to SEE where Leia is?

Ah yes, we are treated once more to an appearance by Fortress Inquisitorius, and NO, that is NOT a name I made up to be funny, THAT IS WHAT IT IS CALLED. It appears to be possibly from the portfolio of the same architect who designed Dramatic Bullshit Manor, except this place is surrounded by water, instead of lava and bad poems that Anakin wrote about how he was So Over his exes.

Well, this place might be foreboding, but lil Leia is holding her own. She loudly proclaims that they can’t keep her here: her father is BAIL ORGANA, A SENATOR, DAMN IT!

My kids both laughed out loud at her here. She’s so sassy and bossy.

Reva arrives to do some interrogatin’, and Leia says firmly that “he will come for me”. I love that she’s known Obi-Wan for like 35 hours and she is already doing that thing Anakin does where he just starts talking about Obi-Wan without saying his name, assuming everyone else is obsessed to the point where they’d also just assume ANY “he” being discussed is OBVIOUSLY Obi-Wan.

Reva picks up what she’s putting down, though, and is like “Oh really? Hmm, about that”:

Reva assures her that nobody’s coming to help her. Leia looks absolutely devastated in response to this, because as we all know the worst thing that could ever happen to a Skywalker is to hear that Obi-Wan died, and hangs her head slightly.

Recurring Theme: Someone Does Something They Just Said They Wouldn’t Do

Apparently some time has passed, because we next find Obi-Wan sadly no longer shirtless, but happily he’s in better shape than he was pre-bacta. He and Tala find a guy named Roken to try and get him to help them get to Leia, but this dude is immediately like “no no no no no no no. Also Obi-Wan, you need to leave because you’re basically Vader Catnip and you’re going to ruin everything by bringing your horrible life here.”

Obi-Wan protests: he needs his help!

Obi-Wan explains that “someone very important” to him has been taken. AWWWW and also IT HURTS.

Roken then throws this out there:

I…I mean, yes, Feelings and all because this is probably the first person who’s called him that since like, Cody did 12 seconds before trying to murder him, but also: so EVERYONE got to keep their titles? Is Anakin technically also still a General for the Rebellion because most people don’t know what happened to him so they never took him off the rolls just in case he’s one of the Jedi who made it out alive?

Obi-Wan retorts that actually it IS his problem, because Leia knows everything about their operation! Tala interjects that if word gets out about the details, they’ll have to evacuate everyone and start over elsewhere! Roken replies that he can’t dismantle their operation here, it’s too much of an undertaking, and Obi-Wan’s like “great, so help us get her back!” and then he adds this to make sure I never go more than 30 seconds in this show without being punched in the gut:

Yeah, Roken! Obes has already lost several lifetimes’ worth of dramatic crazy people, and he’ll be DAMNED if he’s losing one more! Obi-Wan says that Roken has no idea what the Empire is capable of, and Roken in response is like EXCUSE YOU: I am a Star Wars character! You really think I don’t have Tragic Backstory???? Yes, turns out Roken was married to someone who had Force Madness, and though they tried to hide it and keep her safe, the Inquisitors found her anyways:

Obi-Wan looks stricken and compassionate, which is impressive because in his shoes I’d be pretty damn tempted to sarcastically be like OH REALLY SO ONE PERSON YOU KNOW WAS TAKEN BY THE EMPIRE, HUH? WOW YOU MUST BE SO STRONG AND BRAVE TO CARRY ON. But then we all know Obi-Wan is the best, and I would make a terrible Jedi, so.

Roken pauses and collects his thoughts, looking introspective, and sighs: fine. He’ll help them. Well that was easy! All Obes had to do was point his face in this guy’s direction and he caved! Understandable. I…am gonna maybe guess this scene MIGHT have been edited down a bit.

No matter! Off we go!

Recurring Theme: Our Insignificant Rebellion

So now Roken’s giving us the rundown of where Leia’s being kept:

His trauma notwithstanding, Obes must be, on some level, GIDDY to be going over PLANS in a ROOM with those GLOWY HOLOPROJECTIONS and PEOPLE calling him GENERAL. It’s just like old times!!! I’m really sort of shocked he didn’t interrupt in the middle of this session to be like “OK but hear me out: maybe I do a swan dive into an explosion while you have several heart attacks fearing for my safety, and then I’ll stand around posing while you go find my lightsaber for me! And what’s the situation with these Inquisitors; do you think they’d be down to flirt when we get there? Maybe I could have some dossiers to review so I can think of one-liners for each of them. While we’re at it, do you guys have any hot blondes with huge tempers who want to be snarked at and hit on repeatedly that I could take with me?? Usually I’d ask for a sarcastic child to bring along with us, too, but if all goes to plan I suppose we’ll have Leia with us soon enough.”

Roken says Nur is in the Mustafar system, and I can’t believe Obi-Wan didn’t just up and die right then, of horrified laughter. His first damn mission in a decade, and he’s going BACK to the Mustafar system. I hope he stops at Boyfriend Breakup River and leaves a bag of flaming bantha scat on Vader’s doorstep before he heads home.

Hilariously, the words “that’s Vader’s system” are spoken, and instead of being like “dear fucking Christ what is WRONG with him”, Obi-Wan asks:

I’ve gotta be honest: he looks concerned and a little freaked out, but he ALSO had this like IMMEDIATE knee-jerk reaction which I’m SURE was 90% about being worried about Anakin running into Leia, but 10% was that same head-tilt “I HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT HIIIIIIIIIIMMMMM” reaction that Vader always has about Obi-Wan. These guys. I swear to God.

So then there’s some back and forth about how Vader’s on his ship still, and they all talk about how impenetrable this dumb International House of Darksiders is, which is amusing because they’re like “we know NOTHING about this place, but 100% also know there is no way we can get in”. OK, so WHY ARE WE EVEN HAVING THIS MEETING THEN?? LOL.

Obi-Wan’s like “well get creative! Let’s take those ships I saw that you have!” He’s told they’re not soldiers, and those ships are for hauling sewage. Obi-Wan looks desperate:

He’s a good uncle. 😭

Obi-Wan is adamant that he won’t leave her there, and says he’ll go alone. God, this man. He is THE BEST.

Recurring Theme: Never Gonna Give You Up

Tala says she’ll go with him: they can use her officer clearance to get her in. Obi-Wan asks if her cover is still intact given everything that just happened on Mapuzo, and she says they’ll find out soon enough. Pack your bags, kids, it’s time to go visit an evil office building run by Anakin Skywalker!

On board their ship headed for Nur, Obi-Wan tries and barely succeeds to pull a small object with the Force. Tala looks at him sadly and he says he’ll be all right. She tells him that he just needs time: the past isn’t an easy thing to forget. Obi-Wan aims directly for my heart and replies:

Well, that’s just…great, I guess. Good: Anakin will haunt him all of his days. GODDAMNIT, SKYWALKER.

Tala counters: you care about Leia, don’t you? At this, Obi-Wan gives a wee sad nod. Tala tells him bluntly: then you’re gonna have to at least TRY and let go of the 7-foot-tall, 1200-pound burden on your back. She says they’re almost there, and Obi-Wan looks deep in thought.

Back at Fortress Ridiculorious, Reva is grilling Leia about The Path, and the safehouses, and this whole Jedi Safety Network.

Leia, in lieu of answering, asks:

Nah, he just collected some new and exciting Anakin Trauma. Don’t buy it, Leia! It’s a trap!

Leia looks forlorn, but then determined: she declares that she doesn’t know shit about any “Path”! Reva, frustrated, is like “well maybe you could put some brain power into it and CONSIDER.”

Recurring Theme: The Sneak-In

So Tala walks through the, uh, lobby? I guess? of Inquisitor HQ, and when she goes through a checkpoint, she’s stopped by some dork who’s the security guard. He runs her ID and is like “hey, you’re not supposed to be working here”, and she pulls rank on him to get herself out of this jam, telling him that she’s here with classified intelligence.

She’s let through, and breathes a sigh of relief. And just…just LOOK at this place:

This is the ENTRYWAY. So much wasted space! It’s a good thing we know Anakin didn’t spring for adequate lighting because it must cost a ton to heat this place.

Tala sits down at a computer screen and comms over to Obi-Wan to let him know she’s in. Obi-Wan? Is having a WEIRD week:

I mean, I guess technically for Obi-Wan this is more along the lines of what a TYPICAL week was like for the majority of his life. But still. He must be feeling some whiplash. Not exactly just another day at his job at Shady Space Whale Meat, Inc.

Tala opens an entry port for him to swim to, and he makes it in. He then proceeds to choke out a stormtrooper guarding the area. He leaves the dude floating in the water. Damn, Obes!

Recurring Theme: Leia Organa, Brain of Steel

Reva is hard at work trying to invade Leia’s mind, and Leia’s pretty blase about it:

Reva notes that Leia is strong, but continues to try and intimidate her. She grabs Lola away from Leia:

She tells Leia that her droid was taken from her — just like everything else. Reva, look: I assume we’re getting a Tragic Jedi Backstory for you, in which case, the person you should ACTUALLY be mad at about your ruined childhood is ANAKIN. Well, and Sheev. Go yell at them!

Tala checks out a map of the fortress, and she’s shocked:

Well, if this place is anything like the basement of Dramatic Bullshit Manor that we saw in Vader Immortal, it probably contains about 17,000 crates, plus a whole entire Sith temple and some ancient weapon with a Ridiculous Backstory. Oh, and a room that is totally definitely NOT a sex dungeon.

ANYWAYS. Obi-Wan creeps along a hallway, trying to avoid detection by probe droids. Tala is trying to guide him to the detention area when she gets interrupted by a guy asking to see her identification.

Recurring Theme: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Creeping on Imperial Territory

While Tala tussles with the officer, Obi-Wan’s on his own to continue down this gigantic hallway. Two stormtroopers walk by, and he ducks into an enclave. I thought for a moment that he was FOR SURE going to end up crawling around in the vents, and I was going to SCREAM.

The troopers chit-chat about how this place “gives them the creeps”:

For real! Imagine being a normal person and getting sent HERE. The only worse assignments are Dramatic Bullshit Manor Guard and Guy Who Has To Watch Sheev Sleep.

Tala returns to her post after kicking that guy’s ass, and she comms over to Obi-Wan. This means she says “Ben?” and since apparently you can’t put your comm on Silent, this gets broadcast into the hallway. The troopers hear it, and this gives Obi-Wan the chance to do some Recurring Themery. He uses the Force to make noise at the opposite end of the hallway, and it works to lure them away. Hey, that’s a pretty good trick! You should use that one again the next time you have to deal with Anakin’s bullshit, Obi-Wan!

He heads off down the hallway, and Tala informs him that she’s taken care of the company she had.

Recurring Theme: Leia Organa, Crafty as Fuck

Reva is still trying to get Leia to crack. She tells Leia she knows what it’s like to be alone, and then pushes the whole “the only one who can save you now is you; we’re totally all on the same side” bit. I’m kind of bummed Reva’s on her own here and not with a cop partner, so she can’t FULLY do the whole Law and Order Interrogation thing.

Leia looks like she’s going to cry, and relents: OK, she’ll talk:

LOL. Reva is Not Great at being convincing here:

Leia’s got a trick up her sleeve, though, and it’s hilarious: she tells Reva that she has to tell her father first!

Reva, realizing she’s been had, looks momentarily like she’s gonna snap Leia’s neck, then tells her “nice try”. She hopes Leia likes pain!

Ten years old and balls of STEEL, this one. What an icon.

As Obi-Wan gets to the entrance to the secure sector (spoiler: contains Pain!), Leia is hauled off to what is more or less a straight-up torture chamber:

The Empire sucks. Turns out fascists are really very shitty people! WHO KNEW.

Recurring Theme: One More Thing For Obi-Wan To Discuss With His Therapist

So, looks like Leia’s in for a bad time! Fortunately I am sure Obi-Wan is having a ball, as usual!

Oh wait, no: he’s made it into the secure sector, and he’s discovered its frankly horrific contents.

Obi-Wan, stricken, tells Tala he’s figured out what they’re hiding down here. This place isn’t a fortress, you see…

ANAKIN MIDDLENAME SKYWALKER: WHAT IN THE FRICK-FRACK-FUCKING MACABRE INSANE BULLSHIT IS THIS?? WHAT IN THE HELL. WHY ON EARTH. WHY. STAR WARS HOW CAN YOU MAKE OBI-WAN LOOK AT THIS!? Master Sinube.😭

Yes, so, Anakin and company just straight-up have BODIES IN THE BASEMENT like a bunch of serial killers. This’ll give the True Crime podcasters of the GFFA a LOT to work with someday.

They are, of course, dead Jedi. Somebody pointed out to me last week that this is extra horrible because by all indications, traditional Jedi burial calls for cremation. So it’s like yet another “fuck you” to their faith and culture. AND is also in line with the sorts of shitty things oppressors do when they’re trying to genocide a group of people out of existence! Fun.

Reva tells Leia she’s got one more chance to give up the information, while Obi-Wan walks through the tomb in a stupor.

Just…OK, let’s review Obi-Wan’s last like, three days:

  • Bail called him possibly for the first time since All the Things
  • Bail SHOWED UP AT HIS HOUSE CAVE
  • A Jedi got killed down the street from where he lives
  • He had to sneak into a meth lab
  • He met Leia again and she punched him, dunked on him AND made him remember his Tragic Backstory in front of everybody
  • He found out Anakin is still alive
  • He got to see what Anakin looks like now and watch him kill more people
  • Anakin set him on fire
  • He had a Just-Friends Semi-Nude Bacta Tank Bonding Moment with Anakin
  • He found out Anakin is keeping Jedi bodies on DISPLAY in the basement of his workplace

I am so upset right now. Not as upset as Obi-Wan, though, probably.

Recurring Theme: Nick of Time

Just as Obi-Wan looks like he’s really gonna lose it in front of the tomb of a baby Jedi (WHY STAR WARS), he hears Leia’s calls for help. He tells Tala he needs a distraction, and fast.

And so, with Reva moments from hurting Leia, she’s disrupted:

LOL. Imagine walking into this scene, seeing your coworker doing this, and having effectively no reaction. What’s that? Oh, a child is being tortured. Anyways are you coming with us to Olive Garden for lunch or do you have meetings? Stacey needs a head count for the reservation.

Leia is spared, and Tala meets with Reva, telling her made-up story about how The Path runs through Florrum.

Reva is Highly Skeptical.

Recurring Theme: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Fucking Glorious Space Wizard

The room Leia is in goes dark, and it’s not even because the power company cut Anakin off for nonpayment — it’s because a Superhero has arrived!

Obi-Wan’s so great. He’s also scary as shit here! He killed the lights and then snuck up on these guys! I know exactly where Vader got his showmanship from, and so do all of you.

Leia is SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM. Me too, Leia.

He tells her to come with him: he’s gonna get her home! AWWW. God, these two together is EVERYTHING TO ME.

Recurring Theme: The Sneak-Out

Reva is on to Tala’s story: sure, it makes sense that the Empire could have had eyes and ears within the Path. But where she’s lost is how “an old man and a little girl escaped an Imperial checkpoint” on Tala’s planet.

Reva goads her to admit she’s a spy, and Tala changes tactics: well duh! Of COURSE she’s a spy! She was embedded undercover for years! Reva is dubious, but Tala insists: Kenobi’s on Florrum.

While this is happening, Obi-Wan and Leia are headed down yet another hallway, and this time, they’re spotted by a droid. Uh oh! I have to say, I love how this show has managed to build tension for characters we already ABSOLUTELY KNOW will not die. On first watch I was like OH NO OBI-WAN!!! and then had to remind myself that basically nothing can happen to him. I mean, except more psychological trauma.

Reva doesn’t buy Tala’s story, but tells her:

No wonder she’s trying to become Vader’s bestie. If you like liars, you’ll love that guy. He spends all damn day talking about how he hates Obi-Wan. He once told somebody he “didn’t wanna hear any more about Obi-Wan” and then proceeded to talk about him CONSTANTLY for the next 20 years.

An alarm starts blaring, and Reva takes off, pissed. Tala is about to be taken into interrogation when Obi-Wan comms her. She uses the split-second confusion of the troopers holding her to start kicking their asses:

Obi-Wan and Leia are being pursued by some troopers, and whaddya know: General Kenobi lives!

I am so completely unreasonable about this man. LOOK AT HIM.

Recurring Theme: Design Flaw Double-Down

They end up in a hallway with glass windows. Underwater. With people shooting all over the place. Can’t see how this could go wrong! This would be silly on its own, but is much better when you realize that THIS EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED in Jedi: Fallen Order. So this has happened TWICE now, in the same location. I’m glad we can all sleep easy knowing Anakin has not learned from ANY mistakes yet.

So predictably, one of the windows cracks, and Obi-Wan has to use the Force to hold it together:

Tala arrives and he has her take Leia to a safe spot. He holds the water back JUST long enough to get the bad guys in the right position, then lets the water FLY and hauls ass outta there:

He escapes, and Tala slams the door shut behind him. Bad day to be a trooper at this place!

Tala gives Obi-Wan an Imperial uniform to throw on, and they make their way towards the exit.

Recurring Theme: The Bad Disguises of Star Wars

The Fifth Brother is BIG MAD. He tells his cohorts to have the base shut down, and that Reva’s gonna pay for this. The fortress is in total chaos as Tala, Obi-Wan, and Leia sneak out, with Leia hiding under Obi-Wan’s jacket:

We are just getting SO many new Looks for Obes!! I can’t handle it. He’s been changing clothes almost as often as Padme!

Also, I do not understand the people who were like “Oh COME ON, how were they NOT gonna be spotted, this is so dumb!” People, you are watching Star Wars. Unless this is the first Star Wars content you’ve ever seen, don’t act brand new here.

Reva sees them, and rolls up with a crew of troopers. She calls Tala a traitor who betrayed everything she was, and Tala replies:

You tell her, Tala!

…and JUST when things look their worst, their getaway cars arrive! There is Extensive Pew-Pew-Pew Action as they flee amidst a hail of blaster fire. They get in a ship with one of their allies — Sully — while the other, Wade, keeps Reva occupied:

Reva hurls an explosive at Wade’s ship as he makes to leave, and, well, Wade: we REALLY hardly knew ye.

The Inquisitors watch as our heroes get away. I bet I know somebody who’s gonna take this news REAL WELL!

Recurring Theme: Anakin Loves Obi-Wan

Yes, Anakin’s back and he is HAULING his robotic ASS down a hallway. Who knew he could move this quickly? I guess Obi-Wan Rage is a good motivator.

OK, buddy, but like, WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU, EXACTLY, DURING ALL OF THIS? It was so important that you update your tumblr to breathlessly share your latest Obi-Wan thoughts with everyone that you just outsourced this whole thing instead of taking point on this project? JUST DO IT YOURSELF if everyone else is so incompetent, Anakin, damn.

Reva manages to spit out, as she’s being choked, that she let them go: she put a tracker on their ship! Soon they’ll have a two-fer: they’ll know where the Jedi Network is, AND where Obi-Wan is.

Vader’s impressed, and the Fifth Brother is like BUT BUT BUT our whole office was almost destroyed! Reva snaps:

And BOY OH BOY, you will never EVER guess who likes hearing THAT (other than me, of course):

I can’t even do this justice in a still shot. HE SNAPS HIS HEAD SO DAMN FAST, Reva’s not even fully done talking yet. It’s like when a dog hears the word “walk”. This is like that time in Attack of the Clones when Padme is like “bitch do you think I am about to just LEAVE OBI-WAN KENOBI TO DIE?????” and Anakin has never been more turned on in his LIFE and just looks at her like “she loves him too. GOOD TO KNOW, FOR REGULAR REASONS”:

Let’s…maybe not look at Young Non-Cyborg Anakin right now. I am fragile.

Vader is like “Reva, I swear on Obi-Wan’s hair, if you are bullshitting me right now…” and she assures him the tracker is with him:

…real cute, Star Wars. So, just like Obi-Wan and Anakin, then.

Vader seems placated by this for now, or at least is back to his usual Background Level of white hot all-consuming rage.

Recurring Theme: Obi-Wan’s Gonna Kill Me

The gang connect back up with Roken, who picks them up in a bigger ship. He gets the bad news about dear departed Wade, and the vibe in the room is decidedly morose. Tala comforts Sully, and Leia takes everything in.

And then she does THIS:

Obi-Wan initially looks mildly confused, probably because usually when people are touching him it’s to punch him, or SET HIM ON FIRE or whatever. He smiles slightly and offers his hand to her:

THIS IS SO SWEET I AM GOING TO PERISH.

She smiles at him and he smiles at her and I’m dying and suing and screaming.

They settle in for their flight, and Leia looks relaxed.

…and that’s when we see exactly what might be indeed tracking them:

EVIL LOLA NO WHYYYY.

And it is on this cliffhanger that Episode 4 of this show comes to a close! I am sure that excruciating pain awaits us all in the next two weeks, and I can’t wait. Anakin didn’t buff his helmet and get a new cape for NOTHING, you know. I hope I’ll see you all back here for more soon! Thanks for reading!

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Recurring Themes and More

Ahsoka Tano Anakin Is The Worst Employee I Swear to God Anakin Loves Ahsoka Anakin Loves Obi-Wan Anakin Loves Padme Anakin Loves Palpatine Anakin Skywalker - Human Lightning Rod Anakin Skywalker and His Life of Bad Choices Asajj Ventress Bad Ideas of the Jedi Bail Loves Obi-Wan Bail Organa Beru Whitesun Bo-Katan Kryze Boba Fett Bounty Hunters Cad Bane Carnelion IV Chewbacca Count Dooku Crappy Destiny Crystal Quest Dagobah Darksaber Dark Side Foreshadow Darth Sidious Darth Sidious Makes a Guest Appearance as Himself Darth Vader Darth Vader Screws Himself Over Electrocution Enough of That Old Trauma Let's Start Experiencing Some New Trauma Faked Death Force Vision Quest General Grievous Geonosis Han Loves Leia Han Solo Holocrons with the Jedi Order's Famous Chili Recipe Hondo Ohnaka I'm More Powerful Than All of You I'm No Jedi I'm Suing This Show For Pain and Suffering I Am a Jedi Jabba the Hutt Jedi Kids Kolara Leia Organa Luke Loves Obi-Wan Luke Skywalker Luke Skywalker's Neverending Personal Destiny Quests Mace Windu Mandalore Martini Drinking Maul More Bummers Brought to You By Anakin Skywalker Mother Pran Mustafar My Ridiculously Circuitous Plan is One-Quarter Complete No One Can See Me With My Hood On Obi-Wan's Life is the Worst Obi-Wan and Anakin Need Marriage Counseling Obi-Wan Brings People Together Obi-Wan Earns That Paycheck Obi-Wan Loves Anakin Obi-Wan Loves Luke Obi-Wan McSassypants and the Angry One Oblivious to the Obvious One More Thing For Obi-Wan To Discuss with His Therapist Ostentaciousness Is Our Speciality Owen Lars Padme Amidala Padme Loves Anakin Palpatine Strikes Again Pre Vizsla Qui-Gon Jinn Revenge of Revenge of the Sith Rex Ridiculous Complexity Sana Starros Satine Kryze Savage Oppress Secret History Reveal Sithtacular Sithtacular Tarkin Tatooine The Beginning of the End Again The Dark Side Stole My Boyfriend The Dark Times The Death Watch Is Not A Shitty Band The Jedi Council's Greatest Hits The Unbearable Sadness of Obi-Wan This Show Is Insane Tragic Backstory Tuskens Undercover Why Are You Doing This To Me Filoni Haven't I Suffered Enough Why Knock When You Can Just Badass Your Way In Wistful Sunset Gazing Yoda You Can Kill Pretty Much Anyone Except Maul

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