Artoo sends Luke off on an early-morning errand; Obi-Wan presents the Abridged and Not Entirely Accurate History of the Clone Wars.
Leia tells her bio-dad to shove it; Luke just wanted to buy power converters; Vader is, was, and ever shall be a Drama Queen.
Luke picks up a copy of Obi-Wan’s traumatic autobiography; Boba Fett does a shitty job bounty-hunting; Vader learns a Shocking Truth that will lead him to utter one of Star Wars’ most famous lines.
The Jedi Order has its worst day in a long time; Darth Vader arrives on the scene; Obi-Wan escapes death but will maybe wish he hadn’t.
Luke’s not feeling very Jedi; Vader gets a heaping helping of sand.
Luke is skilled at crashing things just like his dad; Obi-Wan is the most underpaid childcare provider of all time.