Luke picks up a copy of Obi-Wan’s traumatic autobiography; Boba Fett does a shitty job bounty-hunting; Vader learns a Shocking Truth that will lead him to utter one of Star Wars’ most famous lines.
Vader does a little TCB on Mustafar; Obi-Wan gets some bad news, then some worse news, then some much worse news; Padme learns The Truth.
Han and Leia bitch at each other so much that it puts Obi-Wan and Anakin to shame; Luke is so intent on his Personal Destiny Quest that he’s even willing to be exposed to sand.
Kanan takes on another student (and is bringing his Jedi Master A-game to the party); Sabine becomes the latest person to maybe have a destiny they don’t exactly want.
The Jedi Order has its worst day in a long time; Darth Vader arrives on the scene; Obi-Wan escapes death but will maybe wish he hadn’t.
Maul gets himself a brand-new pair of legs; Obi-Wan doesn’t even seem especially surprised that his life sucks this much anymore.
Luke’s not feeling very Jedi; Vader gets a heaping helping of sand.
Anakin complains a lot; Sidious pulls off his barely-there disguise; Grievous meets his fate.
Ahsoka takes after Anakin, much to Anakin’s irritation (and Obi-Wan’s delight); Tarkin is an asshole pretty much right out of the gate.
Anakin gets some Big News and has his first, but not last, temper tantrum of this film; Obi-Wan is an embarrassed dad with a Bad Feeling About This.