But Girl, Don’t They Warn Ya — It Pours, Man It PoursWe begin with an exterior shot of the Jedi Temple during a major thunderstorm. Hey, have we ever seen it rain on Coruscant before? For some reason I am drawing a blank, so for all I know it might be like, in a main scene of one of the films that I have seen 55 trillion times. Shit, I hope Padme moved her furniture indoors before this happened. Like half her apartment is open to the elements, and it looks pretty bad out there. OK, so we’re in the Council Room (I know, weird right? WE’VE NEVER SPENT TIME IN THIS ROOM BEFORE,) and I don’t know if they were going for added darkness for drama or what but I swear to you all: it is somehow MORE poorly-lit than ever in here. Like, the single-bulb nightlight or the lone Yankee Candle they usually use for lighting finally burned out or something. The Council is holo-Skyping with stupid jerkface Tarkin, where he’s laying out the story of Ahsoka Tano, Deranged Spree Murderer:
Anakin Skywalker, Father of a RunawayAnakin is Vadering in the corner, clutching his arms across his chest. As Tarkin goes on about how he doesn’t care if the Council’s not sure if Ahsoka did it or not because he sure as hell knows that she’s guilty of seditious acts, Anakin makes that face he makes when he’s having a Dark Side attack. I ask you all, again: how did this man not kill Tarkin way before Luke blew him up? Ki-Adi-Mundi decides Anakin’s not having a shitty enough day already so here, Skywalker, have some more: couldn’t you have stopped her from getting away?
Breaking News: At Least Some of The Council Is Not Completely Unaware of ThingsWell, regardless, the Council and Anakin do agree on one thing, which is that they need to find Ahsoka. Yoda tells Plo and Anakin to each take some clones and go find her, and Mace Windu is like UH HOLD UP: do we REALLY want to send Anakin Skywalker, He Of Yelling and Rule-Breaking and Emotional Attachments on this mission? I have to hand it to Windu here: half the time I assume he and Yoda are just sitting in that room playing canasta and watching daytime TV, but as it turns out sometimes they do actually take note of what’s going on around them. He then says this, which we can add to the pile of “Things People Have Said That Are A Summary of This Series”: Anakin starts getting all angry about this because how dare they not let him go look for his own damn runaway daughter:
Ahsoka Tano, Wanted FugitiveAhsoka’s picture is being distributed amongst the security forces in the lower levels of Coruscant. I LOVE AHSOKA’S WANTED POSTER. What the hell? Is that her Jedi Temple ID badge photo? It’s of her looking angry? Beautiful! Ahsoka, meanwhile, is slinking around trying to remain anonymous. She uses her comlink to call Barriss, who is all OH THANK GOD YOU’RE SAFE. Hmmph. She tells Barriss she’ll contact her again when it’s safe to do so.
Ahsoka Tano, Elevator Drama Runs In Her BloodSo then she sneaks onto a subway train, and while there the police spot her and start chasing her down, leading to her leaping over and into people and then eventually flinging herself out of the train and onto a platform. Her escape is short-lived, though, because immediately she’s spotted again by more police and ends up running into an elevator, which gets shot at and malfunctions. She looks down and notes that she’s not alone on this ride:
Recurring Theme: Asajj Ventress, Kicking Your Ass With a SmileAhsoka makes her way through some dark alleys, when she’s jumped by someone who traps her under twin red blades:
Recurring Theme: Perhaps We Can Both Get What We WantSo these two ladies are walk-and-talking and Ventress tells Ahsoka she’s just going to dump her off with a bondsman and get paid for her capture and that’ll be that. She also points out to Ahsoka that it’s not exactly like the Jedi have unshakable faith in Ahsoka at the moment…
Recurring Theme: Only Pain Will You FindVentress agrees, and at that moment they’re joined by Anakin and his clone search party: The gals take off at the sight of him, and Ventress throws up a ray shield so that Anakin can’t get any closer to them as they make their escape.
Recurring Theme: Walk A Little Further Into My TrapAhsoka places a call — LOL, Coruscant has holo-Skype phone booths — to Barriss. UGH.
Recurring Theme: Team Up With VentressBefore they can escape, though, a bunch of clones show up. Ahsoka tries to talk them out of trying to apprehend her: And Ventress is like “who cares let’s just kick their asses!” They incapacitate the clones, and Ventress is proud of herself:
Asajj Ventress, One of Many Deaths I Am Still Bitter AboutVentress is walking back through the alleys of Coruscant and…she seems kind of sad and cold. I’m sad for her. And now I’ve just reminded myself of how they ended her life story in Dark Disciple and ARGH. She deserved better. ALL THE GIRLS DESERVED BETTER. The ladies of Star Wars are not just here to provide Important Pain for some Jedi Dude’s Story, OK? WTF. Give us a break. (I swear on all that is Force-sensitive, story group: if Leia or Rey has to die to “save” Kylo Ren and make him good again or some fucking bullshit like that, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE ANY OF YOU EVER, SO BE FOREWARNED. So help me, writers. SO. HELP ME.) She thinks at first that Ahsoka might be following her and is like “UGH I told you to go away now!” and it turns out to just be a cat: …and she’s totally pretending to not be sad that it’s not Ahsoka! Oh, Ventress. You are lonely. 🙁 While she’s distracted by the cat, someone hurls a barrel at her head, knocking her down, and then hits her with a pipe before stealing her blades and the mask she’d been wearing.
Ahsoka Tano, Truth-SeekerAhsoka is at the munitions garbage dump and is trying to figure out what this “clue” is that she’s supposed to be looking for when “Ventress” — that is, the person who stole Ventress’ stuff — appears and starts kicking her ass. Ahsoka, of course, presumes this person IS Ventress:
Recurring Theme: Someone Betrayed Me And Then I Had To Go Fight Them Next To A Wall of FireThey go into an extended battle sequence…
Anakin Skywalker, Having a Shit Week At WorkAn explosion that occurs as a result of their battle alerts the police, and the clones, to Goings-On: Anakin solemnly nods: let’s go.
Recurring Theme: This Isn’t What It Looks LikeAhsoka and the Mysterious Stranger’s battle continues, and culminates in Ahsoka falling through the floor and into a room with boxes upon boxes of… At this exact moment, Wolffe shows up, and before she can explain, he stun-guns her into silence. Anakin rushes in and over to her side and I hate the universe: Hey you guys: remember how Anakin turns to the Dark Side and maybe kills her later? Yeah. Me neither. Wolffe, wanting to make sure Anakin is making the worst of this day, informs him:
Maybe They’ll Let Us Just Send Her To Her RoomIn the wrap-up scene of this episode, Anakin, Plo, and the clones are transporting Ahsoka back to the Temple. Plo gives the Council an update:
You Might Also Enjoy
Bail switches from uppers to downers; Obi-Wan puts on a show.
Han and Leia bitch at each other so much that it puts Obi-Wan and Anakin to shame; Luke is so intent on his Personal Destiny Quest that he’s even willing to be exposed to sand.
Pre Vizsla finds out the hard way that the Sith are assholes; Satine has a bad day at work.