The Clone Wars, Season 5, Episode 19: Not This Time

tcw-s5-e19-0145 The Clone Wars, Season 5, Episode 19: To Catch a Jedi  This is the third installment of this arc. To start at the beginning, go here All right, back to this pleasure cruise of an arc, then. Sigh. When we left off, Ahsoka had been framed for a series of murders, beginning with the murder of a woman who bombed the Jedi Temple — a woman who, before her mysterious death, tried to tell Ahsoka about a Jedi who had helped her pull off the attack. Gasp! A JEDI?! Attacking the Jedi Temple? Who…? In this installment, we’ll see what happens when Ahsoka is left with no option but to fend for herself on the mean streets of Coruscant. Oh the sadness! Take heart: the pain of this arc will be lessened, at least somewhat, by the presence of one particular character who I love, and whom I cannot believe it has taken me this long to feature in a recap. (Although, unfortunately, they will also be framed for something they didn’t do. Hooray.) The moral/tagline for this episode is “never become desperate enough to trust the untrustworthy” — wow, so we’re just jumping right in with the Skywalker Callouts, huh? Okey dokey, then: everyone hold hands and let’s dive in!

But Girl, Don’t They Warn Ya — It Pours, Man It Pours tcw-s5-e19-0001

We begin with an exterior shot of the Jedi Temple during a major thunderstorm. Hey, have we ever seen it rain on Coruscant before? For some reason I am drawing a blank, so for all I know it might be like, in a main scene of one of the films that I have seen 55 trillion times. Shit, I hope Padme moved her furniture indoors before this happened. Like half her apartment is open to the elements, and it looks pretty bad out there. OK, so we’re in the Council Room (I know, weird right? WE’VE NEVER SPENT TIME IN THIS ROOM BEFORE,) and I don’t know if they were going for added darkness for drama or what but I swear to you all: it is somehow MORE poorly-lit than ever in here. Like, the single-bulb nightlight or the lone Yankee Candle they usually use for lighting finally burned out or something. The Council is holo-Skyping with stupid jerkface Tarkin, where he’s laying out the story of Ahsoka Tano, Deranged Spree Murderer: I am already prepared to walk right the fuck out of this recap because Plo Koon is having to sit there and listen to this evil Nazi windbag and his stupid garbage lies about Plo’s space child, and then Plo says the following and for REAL: it is ONE GODDAMN MINUTE into this episode, literally. Come the hell on, Star Wars. Why are you LIKE THIS.

She didn’t she’s good and she’s GOING TO HELP SAVE THE UNIVERSE YOU GUYS DON’T WORRY. You’ll be so proud of her! Or you would be if you all lived long enough to see it. Sigh.

Anakin Skywalker, Father of a Runaway

tcw-s5-e19-0006Anakin is Vadering in the corner, clutching his arms across his chest. As Tarkin goes on about how he doesn’t care if the Council’s not sure if Ahsoka did it or not because he sure as hell knows that she’s guilty of seditious acts, Anakin makes that face he makes when he’s having a Dark Side attack. I ask you all, again: how did this man not kill Tarkin way before Luke blew him up? tcw-s5-e19-0007 Ki-Adi-Mundi decides Anakin’s not having a shitty enough day already so here, Skywalker, have some more: couldn’t you have stopped her from getting away? Yoda, looking deeply depressed about all of this, is like “well…Tarkin’s clearly an asshole, but he does kind of have a point? I mean, we have no other suspects…what else can we do or conclude?” I honestly feel so bad for SO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS ARC. They were all so screwed and swindled here. Anakin is adamant that Ahsoka is innocent — she’s just fleeing from justice to PROVE she’s innocent!

Breaking News: At Least Some of The Council Is Not Completely Unaware of Things

tcw-s5-e19-0018 Well, regardless, the Council and Anakin do agree on one thing, which is that they need to find Ahsoka. Yoda tells Plo and Anakin to each take some clones and go find her, and Mace Windu is like UH HOLD UP: do we REALLY want to send Anakin Skywalker, He Of Yelling and Rule-Breaking and Emotional Attachments on this mission? I have to hand it to Windu here: half the time I assume he and Yoda are just sitting in that room playing canasta and watching daytime TV, but as it turns out sometimes they do actually take note of what’s going on around them. tcw-s5-e19-0020 He then says this, which we can add to the pile of “Things People Have Said That Are A Summary of This Series”:

Oh come now, when has Anakin ever made any situation worse?

Anakin starts getting all angry about this because how dare they not let him go look for his own damn runaway daughter: Windu’s like YEAH, all the more reason for us not to send you, you Human Superglue of Attachment Who We’re All A Little Bit Scared Of. Obi-Wan, because he is utterly hopeless in all matters Anakin Skywalker and also probably because this whole thing is breaking whatever is even left his of his already-shattered heart (note: don’t forget, readers, how much MORE he has left to endure too — you’re welcome), protests via holo-Skype that Anakin should totally be allowed to go find her: tcw-s5-e19-0025 Windu is like “…yeah, again: that is because he has formed an emotional attachment to her. Duh. Also, thanks for outing your own obvious emotional attachment for the zillionth goddamn time. Maybe go write Anakin a love letter or something, Kenobi.” Yeah Obi-Wan, what the hell would you know about being so emotionally tied to someone that it’s hard for you to do what you must oh HAHAHAHAHA oh God I’ve made myself so sad why don’t more people acknowledge what a relentless journey of misery and pain Star Wars is. Yoda is OK with sending Anakin, but he warns him: tcw-s5-e19-0029 Anakin assures him that he can hack it. Yoda tells Anakin, as he leaves: And then YODA LOOKS SO SAD. I swear, I think this poor guy pretty much knew the game was already over by now — he knows they are totally fucked but he can’t quite put his little green finger on why. SOMEONE HELP HIM. SOMEONE HELP THEM ALL.

Ahsoka Tano, Wanted Fugitive tcw-s5-e19-0036

Ahsoka’s picture is being distributed amongst the security forces in the lower levels of Coruscant. I LOVE AHSOKA’S WANTED POSTER. What the hell? Is that her Jedi Temple ID badge photo? It’s of her looking angry? Beautiful! tcw-s5-e19-0037 Ahsoka, meanwhile, is slinking around trying to remain anonymous. She uses her comlink to call Barriss, who is all OH THANK GOD YOU’RE SAFE. Hmmph. She tells Barriss she’ll contact her again when it’s safe to do so. Ahsoka then crushes her comlink under her boot, and trades some food for a bum’s hooded cloak to wear, because as we all know: if you are wearing a hood, no one will ever know who you are. I’m surprised Vader even recognized Kenobi on the Death Star, especially given that he didn’t disrobe dramatically until the very end of their battle.

Ahsoka Tano, Elevator Drama Runs In Her Blood

tcw-s5-e19-0044 So then she sneaks onto a subway train, and while there the police spot her and start chasing her down, leading to her leaping over and into people and then eventually flinging herself out of the train and onto a platform. tcw-s5-e19-0045 Her escape is short-lived, though, because immediately she’s spotted again by more police and ends up running into an elevator, which gets shot at and malfunctions. She looks down and notes that she’s not alone on this ride: There’s some mild hijinks where she presumes she’s going to need to be extra to get them out of this and slice open the roof of the elevator (ha!) and the kid points out, uh, or we could just press this button instead to get it to stop? Ahsoka laughs. tcw-s5-e19-0050 tcw-s5-e19-0051 She drops the kid off with their mom and heads back off into the night…but she’s being watched! Not by the police, this time, but someone else… tcw-s5-e19-0052 Anakin and the Clones are on their way to find Ahsoka, having gotten a tip from the cops. Anakin says “let’s bring her home” and I down another glass of wine. HE JUST WANTS TO BRING HIS DAUGHTER HOME.

Recurring Theme: Asajj Ventress, Kicking Your Ass With a Smile

Ahsoka makes her way through some dark alleys, when she’s jumped by someone who traps her under twin red blades: It’s ASAJJ VENTRESS! Everyone look it’s Asajj Ventress and I’m finally getting to recap her on my blog YAAAAAAAY. I know I overuse the word, but this woman is the actual picture in the fucking GALACTIC DICTIONARY next to the word “badass”. She is the REAL DEAL, she is awesome as hell, and she also enjoys sass-flirting with Obi-Wan. All of this together obviously puts her high on my list of characters from this series that I will defend with my life. Ventress is like WHOA: looky here, they actually did put a bounty on your head! tcw-s5-e19-0057 tcw-s5-e19-0058 Ahsoka is pissed: she presumes that Ventress must have been the one who set her up! tcw-s5-e19-0059 …but Ventress? Well: tcw-s5-e19-0060

Recurring Theme: Perhaps We Can Both Get What We Want

So these two ladies are walk-and-talking and Ventress tells Ahsoka she’s just going to dump her off with a bondsman and get paid for her capture and that’ll be that. She also points out to Ahsoka that it’s not exactly like the Jedi have unshakable faith in Ahsoka at the moment…

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Ahsoka starts to realize that Ventress is making some good points…so maybe there’s a Crazy Scheme to be had here.tcw-s5-e19-0070 The two of them strike a deal: if Ventress helps Ahsoka find clues that can help to clear her name, she’ll speak on Ventress’ behalf to the Jedi and the Senate and get her pardoned for her crimes. Besides: the person setting up Ahsoka might very well be Dooku’s new apprentice or something so hey, she could get a pardon AND help herself to a tasty side of vengeance while she’s at it.

Recurring Theme: Only Pain Will You Find

Ventress agrees, and at that moment they’re joined by Anakin and his clone search party: tcw-s5-e19-0084 The gals take off at the sight of him, and Ventress throws up a ray shield so that Anakin can’t get any closer to them as they make their escape. This, of course, results in Anakin seeing Ahsoka — apparently willingly — running off with a Sith. Man IT MUST REALLY SUCK TO FIND OUT YOUR BELOVED APPRENTICE MIGHT BE IN LEAGUE WITH ULTIMATE EVIL AMIRITE SKYWALKER? You’d never want to inflict that kind of pain on anyone, especially not your Obi-Wan, RIGHT? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, YOU BEAUTIFUL TRAINWRECK?! No, of course you’re not. You never are.

Recurring Theme: Walk A Little Further Into My Trap

Ahsoka places a call — LOL, Coruscant has holo-Skype phone booths — to Barriss. UGH. OK, so Barriss tells her she’s got a lead for her — there’s a warehouse a few levels up from here. Ahsoka is super grateful for Barriss’ wonderful awesome selfless act of aid. tcw-s5-e19-0096 Ahsoka tells Ventress what she’s looking for. As it turns out, Ventress knows where this place is at, and agrees to take her there. tcw-s5-e19-0101

Recurring Theme: Team Up With Ventress

Before they can escape, though, a bunch of clones show up. Ahsoka tries to talk them out of trying to apprehend her: tcw-s5-e19-0102 And Ventress is like “who cares let’s just kick their asses!” tcw-s5-e19-0103 They incapacitate the clones, and Ventress is proud of herself: They arrive at the abandoned munitions facility, and Ventress is like “welp, I did my part, kid, don’t forget our deal” and Ahsoka acknowledges this, ruminating: tcw-s5-e19-0112 Ventress, knowing the score, is like:

And you don’t even know the HALF of it, sister.

Ventress takes her leave, and Ahsoka gets to work on clearing her name.  

Asajj Ventress, One of Many Deaths I Am Still Bitter About

Ventress is walking back through the alleys of Coruscant and…she seems kind of sad and cold. I’m sad for her. And now I’ve just reminded myself of how they ended her life story in Dark Disciple and ARGH. She deserved better. ALL THE GIRLS DESERVED BETTER. The ladies of Star Wars are not just here to provide Important Pain for some Jedi Dude’s Story, OK? WTF. Give us a break. (I swear on all that is Force-sensitive, story group: if Leia or Rey has to die to “save” Kylo Ren and make him good again or some fucking bullshit like that, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE ANY OF YOU EVER, SO BE FOREWARNED. So help me, writers. SO. HELP ME.) She thinks at first that Ahsoka might be following her and is like “UGH I told you to go away now!” and it turns out to just be a cat: tcw-s5-e19-0114tcw-s5-e19-0115 …and she’s totally pretending to not be sad that it’s not Ahsoka! Oh, Ventress. You are lonely. 🙁 While she’s distracted by the cat, someone hurls a barrel at her head, knocking her down, and then hits her with a pipe before stealing her blades and the mask she’d been wearing. tcw-s5-e19-0117

Ahsoka Tano, Truth-Seeker

Ahsoka is at the munitions garbage dump and is trying to figure out what this “clue” is that she’s supposed to be looking for when “Ventress” — that is, the person who stole Ventress’ stuff — appears and starts kicking her ass. Ahsoka, of course, presumes this person IS Ventress: tcw-s5-e19-0122

Recurring Theme: Someone Betrayed Me And Then I Had To Go Fight Them Next To A Wall of Fire

They go into an extended battle sequence… tcw-s5-e19-0126

Anakin Skywalker, Having a Shit Week At Work

An explosion that occurs as a result of their battle alerts the police, and the clones, to Goings-On: tcw-s5-e19-0124 Anakin solemnly nods: let’s go. tcw-s5-e19-0125

Recurring Theme: This Isn’t What It Looks Like

Ahsoka and the Mysterious Stranger’s battle continues, and culminates in Ahsoka falling through the floor and into a room with boxes upon boxes of… tcw-s5-e19-0128 At this exact moment, Wolffe shows up, and before she can explain, he stun-guns her into silence. tcw-s5-e19-0129 Anakin rushes in and over to her side and I hate the universe: tcw-s5-e19-0130


Hey you guys: remember how Anakin turns to the Dark Side and maybe kills her later? Yeah. Me neither. Wolffe, wanting to make sure Anakin is making the worst of this day, informs him: Anakin pulls an Obi-Wan/Padme:

You’re wrong!

Maybe They’ll Let Us Just Send Her To Her Room

In the wrap-up scene of this episode, Anakin, Plo, and the clones are transporting Ahsoka back to the Temple. Plo gives the Council an update: And Anakin is like BUT BUT VENTRESS! Why was Ventress there?! She must be up to something! Of course, Anakin does sort of gloss over the fact that it’s not like Ahsoka was being held hostage by her or begging for Anakin to save her from Ventress or anything… tcw-s5-e19-0140 Mace asks him if this means that he thinks Ahsoka’s guilty of MORE, or if more is being perpetrated against her. Anakin doesn’t speak, and Plo says: tcw-s5-e19-0141 ANAKIN LOOKS SO SAD. tcw-s5-e19-0143 Finally, Mace says that he hopes they’ll be able to keep their wayward teenage daughter at home with them. Everyone is Concerned, and I have a bad feeling about this, and Anakin looks over at Ahsoka with crushing sadness as we iris-wipe out. tcw-s5-e19-0144tcw-s5-e19-0145 Next time, on Eternal Suffering Theater, we’ll have a sham trial, Obi-Wan’s heart will get a trampling, Anakin’s heart will get fucking steamrollered, and Ahsoka won’t look back. Join me, won’t you?

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Recurring Themes and More

Ahsoka Tano Anakin Is The Worst Employee I Swear to God Anakin Loves Ahsoka Anakin Loves Obi-Wan Anakin Loves Padme Anakin Loves Palpatine Anakin Skywalker - Human Lightning Rod Anakin Skywalker and His Life of Bad Choices Asajj Ventress Bad Ideas of the Jedi Bail Loves Obi-Wan Bail Organa Beru Whitesun Bo-Katan Kryze Boba Fett Bounty Hunters Cad Bane Carnelion IV Chewbacca Count Dooku Crappy Destiny Crystal Quest Dagobah Darksaber Dark Side Foreshadow Darth Sidious Darth Sidious Makes a Guest Appearance as Himself Darth Vader Darth Vader Screws Himself Over Electrocution Enough of That Old Trauma Let's Start Experiencing Some New Trauma Faked Death Force Vision Quest General Grievous Geonosis Han Loves Leia Han Solo Holocrons with the Jedi Order's Famous Chili Recipe Hondo Ohnaka I'm More Powerful Than All of You I'm No Jedi I'm Suing This Show For Pain and Suffering I Am a Jedi Jabba the Hutt Jedi Kids Kolara Leia Organa Luke Loves Obi-Wan Luke Skywalker Luke Skywalker's Neverending Personal Destiny Quests Mace Windu Mandalore Martini Drinking Maul More Bummers Brought to You By Anakin Skywalker Mother Pran Mustafar My Ridiculously Circuitous Plan is One-Quarter Complete No One Can See Me With My Hood On Obi-Wan's Life is the Worst Obi-Wan and Anakin Need Marriage Counseling Obi-Wan Brings People Together Obi-Wan Earns That Paycheck Obi-Wan Loves Anakin Obi-Wan Loves Luke Obi-Wan McSassypants and the Angry One Oblivious to the Obvious One More Thing For Obi-Wan To Discuss with His Therapist Ostentaciousness Is Our Speciality Owen Lars Padme Amidala Padme Loves Anakin Palpatine Strikes Again Pre Vizsla Qui-Gon Jinn Revenge of Revenge of the Sith Rex Ridiculous Complexity Sana Starros Satine Kryze Savage Oppress Secret History Reveal Sithtacular Sithtacular Tarkin Tatooine The Beginning of the End Again The Dark Side Stole My Boyfriend The Dark Times The Death Watch Is Not A Shitty Band The Jedi Council's Greatest Hits The Unbearable Sadness of Obi-Wan This Show Is Insane Tragic Backstory Tuskens Undercover Why Are You Doing This To Me Filoni Haven't I Suffered Enough Why Knock When You Can Just Badass Your Way In Wistful Sunset Gazing Yoda You Can Kill Pretty Much Anyone Except Maul

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