The Clone Wars, Season 5, Episode 19: To Catch a Jedi
This is the third installment of this arc. To start at the beginning, go here.
All right, back to this pleasure cruise of an arc, then. Sigh.
When we left off, Ahsoka had been framed for a series of murders, beginning with the murder of a woman who bombed the Jedi Temple — a woman who, before her mysterious death, tried to tell Ahsoka about a Jedi who had helped her pull off the attack. Gasp
! A JEDI?! Attacking the Jedi Temple? Who…?
In this installment, we’ll see what happens when Ahsoka is left with no option but to fend for herself on the mean streets of Coruscant. Oh the sadness! Take heart: the pain of this arc will
be lessened, at least somewhat, by the presence of one particular character who I love, and whom I cannot believe it has taken me this long to feature in a recap. (Although, unfortunately, they will also
be framed for something they didn’t do. Hooray.)
The moral/tagline for this episode is “never become desperate enough to trust the untrustworthy” — wow, so we’re just jumping right in with the Skywalker Callouts, huh? Okey dokey, then: everyone hold hands and let’s dive in!
But Girl, Don’t They Warn Ya — It Pours, Man It Pours
We begin with an exterior shot of the Jedi Temple during a major thunderstorm. Hey, have we ever seen it rain on Coruscant before? For some reason I am drawing a blank, so for all I know it might be like, in a main scene of one of the films that I have seen 55 trillion times. Shit, I hope Padme moved her furniture indoors before this happened. Like half her apartment is open to the elements, and it looks pretty bad out there.
OK, so we’re in the Council Room (I know, weird right? WE’VE NEVER SPENT TIME IN THIS
ROOM BEFORE,) and I don’t know if they were going for added darkness for drama or what but I swear to you all: it is somehow MORE poorly-lit than ever
in here. Like, the single-bulb nightlight or the lone Yankee Candle they usually use for lighting finally burned out or something.
The Council is holo-Skyping with stupid jerkface Tarkin, where he’s laying out the story of Ahsoka Tano, Deranged Spree Murderer:
I am already prepared to walk right the fuck out of this recap because Plo Koon is having to sit there and listen to this evil Nazi windbag and his stupid garbage lies about Plo’s space child, and then Plo says the following and for REAL: it is ONE GODDAMN MINUTE into this episode, literally. Come the hell on
, Star Wars. Why are you LIKE THIS.
She didn’t she’s good and she’s GOING TO HELP SAVE THE UNIVERSE YOU GUYS DON’T WORRY. You’ll be so proud of her! Or you would be if you all lived long enough to see it. Sigh.
Anakin Skywalker, Father of a Runaway
Anakin is Vadering in the corner, clutching his arms across his chest. As Tarkin goes on about how he doesn’t care if the Council’s not sure if Ahsoka did it or not because he
sure as hell knows that she’s guilty of seditious acts, Anakin makes that face he makes when he’s having a Dark Side attack. I ask you all, again: how did this man not
kill Tarkin way
before Luke blew him up?
Ki-Adi-Mundi decides Anakin’s not having a shitty enough day already so here, Skywalker, have some more: couldn’t you have stopped her from getting away?
Yoda, looking deeply depressed about all of this, is like “well…Tarkin’s clearly an asshole, but he does kind of have a point? I mean, we have no other suspects…what else can we do or conclude?” I honestly feel so bad for SO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS ARC. They were all
so screwed and swindled here.
Anakin is adamant that Ahsoka is innocent — she’s just fleeing from justice to PROVE she’s innocent!
Breaking News: At Least Some of The Council Is Not Completely Unaware of Things
Well, regardless, the Council and Anakin do agree on one thing, which is that they need to find Ahsoka. Yoda tells Plo and Anakin to each take some clones and go find her, and Mace Windu is like UH HOLD UP: do we REALLY want to send Anakin Skywalker, He Of Yelling and Rule-Breaking and Emotional Attachments on this mission? I have to hand it to Windu here: half the time I assume he and Yoda are just sitting in that room playing canasta and watching daytime TV, but as it turns out sometimes they do actually take note of what’s going on around them.
He then says this, which we can add to the pile of “Things People Have Said That Are A Summary of This Series”:
Oh come now, when has Anakin ever made any situation worse?
Anakin starts getting all angry about this because how dare they not let him go look for his own damn runaway daughter:
Windu’s like YEAH, all the more reason for us not to send you, you Human Superglue of Attachment Who We’re All A Little Bit Scared Of. Obi-Wan, because he is utterly hopeless in all matters Anakin Skywalker and
also probably because this whole thing is breaking whatever is even left his of his already-shattered heart (note: don’t forget, readers, how much MORE he has left to endure too — you’re welcome), protests via holo-Skype that Anakin should totally be allowed to go find her:
Windu is like “…yeah, again: that is because he has formed an emotional attachment to her. Duh. Also, thanks for outing your own
obvious emotional attachment for the zillionth goddamn time. Maybe go write Anakin a love letter or something, Kenobi.”
Yeah Obi-Wan, what the hell would you know about being so emotionally tied to someone that it’s hard for you to do what you must oh HAHAHAHAHA oh God
I’ve made myself so sad why don’t more people acknowledge what a relentless journey of misery and pain Star Wars is.
Yoda is OK with sending Anakin, but he warns him:
Anakin assures him that he can hack it. Yoda tells Anakin, as he leaves:
And then YODA LOOKS SO SAD. I swear, I think this poor guy pretty much knew the game was already over by now — he knows they are totally fucked but he can’t quite put his little green finger on why. SOMEONE HELP HIM. SOMEONE HELP THEM ALL.
Ahsoka Tano, Wanted Fugitive
Ahsoka’s picture is being distributed amongst the security forces in the lower levels of Coruscant. I LOVE AHSOKA’S WANTED POSTER. What the hell? Is that her Jedi Temple ID badge photo? It’s of her looking angry? Beautiful!
Ahsoka, meanwhile, is slinking around trying to remain anonymous. She uses her comlink to call Barriss, who is all OH THANK GOD YOU’RE SAFE. Hmmph
. She tells Barriss she’ll contact her again when it’s safe to do so.
Ahsoka then crushes her comlink under her boot, and trades some food for a bum’s hooded cloak to wear, because as we all know: if you are wearing a hood, no one will ever
know who you are. I’m surprised Vader even recognized
Kenobi on the Death Star, especially given that he didn’t disrobe dramatically until the very end of their battle.
Ahsoka Tano, Elevator Drama Runs In Her Blood
So then she sneaks onto a subway train, and while there the police spot her and start chasing her down, leading to her leaping over and into people and then eventually flinging herself out of the train and onto a platform.
Her escape is short-lived, though, because immediately she’s spotted again by more police and ends up running into an elevator, which gets shot at and malfunctions.
She looks down and notes that she’s not alone on this ride:
There’s some mild hijinks where she presumes she’s going to need to be extra to get them out of this and slice open the roof of the elevator (ha!) and the kid points out, uh, or we could just press this button instead to get it to stop? Ahsoka laughs.
She drops the kid off with their mom and heads back off into the night…but she’s being watched! Not by the police, this time, but someone else…
Anakin and the Clones are on their way to find Ahsoka, having gotten a tip from the cops. Anakin says “let’s bring her home” and I down another glass of wine. HE JUST WANTS TO BRING HIS DAUGHTER HOME.
Recurring Theme: Asajj Ventress, Kicking Your Ass With a Smile
Ahsoka makes her way through some dark alleys, when she’s jumped by someone who traps her under twin red blades:
It’s ASAJJ VENTRESS! Everyone look it’s Asajj Ventress and I’m finally getting to recap her on my blog YAAAAAAAY. I know I overuse the word, but this woman is the actual picture
in the fucking GALACTIC DICTIONARY next to the word “badass”. She is the REAL DEAL, she is awesome as hell
, and she also
enjoys sass-flirting with Obi-Wan. All of this together obviously puts her high on my list of characters from this series that I will defend with my life.
Ventress is like WHOA: looky here, they actually did
put a bounty on your head!
Ahsoka is pissed: she presumes that Ventress must have been the one who set her up!
…but Ventress? Well:
Recurring Theme: Perhaps We Can Both Get What We Want
So these two ladies are walk-and-talking and Ventress tells Ahsoka she’s just going to dump her off with a bondsman and get paid for her capture and that’ll be that. She also points out to Ahsoka that it’s not exactly like the Jedi have unshakable faith in Ahsoka at the moment…
Ahsoka starts to realize that Ventress is making some good points…so maybe there’s a Crazy Scheme to be had here.
The two of them strike a deal: if Ventress helps Ahsoka find clues that can help to clear her name, she’ll speak on Ventress’ behalf to the Jedi and the Senate and get her pardoned for her crimes. Besides: the person setting up Ahsoka might very well be Dooku’s new apprentice or something so hey, she could get a pardon AND help herself to a tasty side of vengeance while she’s at it.
Recurring Theme: Only Pain Will You Find
Ventress agrees, and at that moment they’re joined by Anakin and his clone search party:
The gals take off at the sight of him, and Ventress throws up a ray shield so that Anakin can’t get any closer to them as they make their escape.
This, of course, results in Anakin seeing Ahsoka — apparently willingly — running off with a Sith. Man IT MUST REALLY SUCK TO FIND OUT YOUR BELOVED APPRENTICE MIGHT BE IN LEAGUE WITH ULTIMATE EVIL AMIRITE SKYWALKER? You’d never want to inflict that kind of pain on anyone, especially not your Obi-Wan, RIGHT? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, YOU BEAUTIFUL TRAINWRECK?! No, of course you’re not. You never are.
Recurring Theme: Walk A Little Further Into My Trap
Ahsoka places a call — LOL, Coruscant has holo-Skype phone booths — to Barriss. UGH.
OK, so Barriss tells her she’s got a lead for her — there’s a warehouse a few levels up from here.
Ahsoka is super grateful for Barriss’ wonderful awesome selfless act of aid.
Ahsoka tells Ventress what she’s looking for. As it turns out, Ventress knows where this place is at, and agrees to take her there.
Recurring Theme: Team Up With Ventress
Before they can escape, though, a bunch of clones show up. Ahsoka tries to talk them out of trying to apprehend her:
And Ventress is like “who cares let’s just kick their asses!”
They incapacitate the clones, and Ventress is proud of herself:
They arrive at the abandoned munitions facility, and Ventress is like “welp, I did my part, kid, don’t forget our deal” and Ahsoka acknowledges this, ruminating:
Ventress, knowing the score, is like:
And you don’t even know the HALF of it, sister.
Ventress takes her leave, and Ahsoka gets to work on clearing her name.
Asajj Ventress, One of Many Deaths I Am Still Bitter About
Ventress is walking back through the alleys of Coruscant and…she seems kind of sad and cold. I’m sad for
her. And now I’ve just reminded myself of how they ended her life story in Dark Disciple
and ARGH. She deserved better. ALL THE GIRLS DESERVED BETTER. The ladies of Star Wars are not just
here to provide Important Pain for some Jedi Dude’s Story, OK? WTF. Give us a break. (I swear on all that is Force-sensitive, story group: if Leia or Rey has to die to “save” Kylo Ren and make him good again or some fucking bullshit like that
, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE ANY OF YOU EVER, SO BE FOREWARNED. So help me, writers. SO. HELP ME.)
She thinks at first that Ahsoka might be following her and is like “UGH I told you to go away now!” and it turns out to just be a cat:
…and she’s totally pretending to not be sad that it’s not Ahsoka! Oh, Ventress. You are lonely. 🙁
While she’s distracted by the cat, someone hurls a barrel at her head, knocking her down, and then hits her with a pipe before stealing her blades and the mask she’d been wearing.
Ahsoka Tano, Truth-Seeker
Ahsoka is at the munitions garbage dump and is trying to figure out what this “clue” is that she’s supposed to be looking for when “Ventress” — that is, the person who stole Ventress’ stuff — appears and starts kicking her ass. Ahsoka, of course, presumes this person IS Ventress:
Recurring Theme: Someone Betrayed Me And Then I Had To Go Fight Them Next To A Wall of Fire
They go into an extended battle sequence…
Anakin Skywalker, Having a Shit Week At Work
An explosion that occurs as a result of their battle alerts the police, and the clones, to Goings-On:
Anakin solemnly nods: let’s go.
Recurring Theme: This Isn’t What It Looks Like
Ahsoka and the Mysterious Stranger’s battle continues, and culminates in Ahsoka falling through the floor and into a room with boxes upon boxes of…
At this exact moment, Wolffe shows up, and before she can explain, he stun-guns her into silence.
Anakin rushes in and over to her side and I hate the universe:
Hey you guys: remember how Anakin turns to the Dark Side and maybe kills her later? Yeah. Me neither.
Wolffe, wanting to make sure Anakin is making the worst of this day, informs him:
Anakin pulls an Obi-Wan/Padme:
Maybe They’ll Let Us Just Send Her To Her Room
In the wrap-up scene of this episode, Anakin, Plo, and the clones are transporting Ahsoka back to the Temple. Plo gives the Council an update:
And Anakin is like BUT BUT VENTRESS
! Why was Ventress there?! She must be up to something! Of course, Anakin does
sort of gloss over the fact that it’s not like Ahsoka was being held hostage by her or begging for Anakin to save her from Ventress or anything…
Mace asks him if this means that he thinks Ahsoka’s guilty of MORE, or if more is being perpetrated against her. Anakin doesn’t speak, and Plo says:
ANAKIN LOOKS SO SAD.
Finally, Mace says that he hopes they’ll be able to keep their wayward teenage daughter at home with them. Everyone is Concerned, and I have a bad feeling about this, and Anakin looks over at Ahsoka with crushing sadness as we iris-wipe out.
Next time, on Eternal Suffering Theater
, we’ll have a sham trial, Obi-Wan’s heart will get a trampling, Anakin’s heart will get fucking steamrollered
, and Ahsoka won’t look back. Join me, won’t you?