The Clone Wars, Season 4, Episode 16: Friends and Enemies
This is the second part of a four-part arc. To start at the beginning, go here.
We now return to “Let’s Sow the Seeds of Mistrust with the One Guy We Really Probably Shouldn’t Do That To”, already in progress.
Recap Voiceover Guy reminds us that when we last left things, Obi-Wan was undercover as hardened criminal Rako Hardeen (typing this line will never not make me laugh a little, because OMFG, sure: he’d be my first choice for this assignment, too, guys. Wow.) While in prison (again, LOL,) he’d befriended the mastermind of this week’s Chancellor Palpatine Kidnap Plot, Moralo Eval. Now Still-Undercover Obi-Wan, Eval, and Cad Bane have broken out of prison (this show you guys OMG.) Cad Bane is not particularly buying that Undercover Obi-Wan is legit, because occasionally one or two people on this show will demonstrate some amount of perceptiveness. Will Cad Bane discover the Pompous British Dweeb that lies beneath Obi-Wan’s transformational disguise? Will Anakin have a rage and/or sadness stroke before this is all over? Let’s find out!
Recurring Theme: Another Happy Landing
We begin with the three fugitives crashing their ship into a swamp on Nal Hutta, which Obi-Wan does on purpose – the swamp will swallow the ship, and they’ll be harder to track. Eval is impressed at his forward thinking, while Cad Bane remains sour. Bane notes that before they go shopping for another ship, they’ll need to get new clothes since prison garb makes them stand out – something he claims he doesn’t like to do, which is obviously one of the bigger lies anyone on this show has told because let us recall what Cad Bane looks like most of the time: a blue-skinned, red-eyed alien bounty hunter who wears the Quaker Oatmeal Guy’s hat as a fashion statement.
Shopping Montage!
The three of them head over to a pawn shop where Cad Bane immediately makes a priority of finding a new hat, which leads to Obi-Wan transcribing my thoughts.
Bane gets all sassy with the shop owner about his crappy weapons selection and the three end up leaving after a tussle with him that turns violent. Once outside, Obi-Wan is like GOOD JOB, BANE: now those guys are pissed at us and probably off to find out how much money they can get for us. Bane tells them they need to split up to avoid detection, ordering Hardeen to go find them a new ship while he and Eval go get some weapons. As he and Eval head out, he tells Eval that as soon as they have a ship, they’re ditching Hardeen and giving him up to the Hutts, in a move he says is both business and personal.
Recurring Theme: The Bad Guy Acts Like a Bad Guy
Obi-Wan’s found them a ship, and is negotiating the terms of the sale (and also stealthily placing a tracking device on the ship,) when Eval and Bane arrive. After paying, they reveal that they’re leaving without Undercover Obi-Wan.
As he’s arguing with them about this, it becomes abundantly clear, as the pawn shop owner and the Hutts arrive, that they’re going to leave him to his fate. Bane cements his backstabbing farewell with a spray of poison gas in Obi-Wan’s face, followed by kicking him down the ship’s steps as he boards and departs.
Recurring Theme: Obi-Wan’s Brush with Death
Obi-Wan’s now hanging upside down as a prisoner of the Hutts, and being interrogated and tortured. He tells his captors there’s no need to torment him: he placed a tracking device on the ship that the other two fugitives escaped in, and he’ll tell them the frequency if they let him go.
Another day, another near-death experience.
Aboard the ship, Cad Bane is driving while Moralo Eval is holo-Skyping with Count Dooku, apologizing for getting delayed in their Grand Kidnapping Plan. Bane and Eval then start discussing how Bane is going to get the money Eval owes him and quickly, when all of a sudden their ship comes under fire from…the Hutts? Now how on earth did those guys find them so fast? WINK!
Their ship is heavily damaged and they’re forced to turn back.
Obi-Wan is still being held prisoner despite having given the Hutts the information they sought, partially because those guys kind of suck and partially because it’s time for some lightly recycled dialogue:
…so he takes matters into his own hands and breaks himself out, and runs off to holo-Skype with Yoda and Mace Windu.
Hey Dad, I Need Money to Make Rent
Obi-Wan, still dorkily identifying himself as Ben, tells them that he needs the heat to be taken off of them for a while so that he can gain Cad Bane’s trust and get more information on their plans. He needs them to cease all contact with him for a while…and also can he have some more money because he needs another ship. LOL. He’s like a bratty kid calling home: “Don’t call me very much or my friends will hear. And also can I have some money?”
They reluctantly agree. Mace relays their updated plans to Palpatine, and I don’t even entirely know why but this scene made me laugh out loud. He gets off the holo-Skype with Mace, sits back and smirks a bit:
…and then it’s revealed that Anakin’s actually sitting in his office during all this. I like the idea that Anakin’s started just hanging out there, no doubt pouting and bitching ceaselessly about how no one understands him – like Palpatine is his terrible therapist and Anakin is the most hopeless patient ever.
Recurring Theme: Adult Tantrum
So. Let me just tell you all that I love that Star Wars has made “main character, an adult who is supposed to be a being of exceptional powers, either goes on a whiny rant OR has an actual temper tantrum” a recurring theme of the series. Briefly, before we cover this episode’s edition, here are some other notable examples:
I. Anakin loses his shit at the Lars Homestead, in a scene that includes the amazing “it’s all Obi-Wan’s fault!” (Episode 2).
II. Anakin loses his shit in the Jedi Council room (Episode 3, with bonus Withering Headshake of Disapproval from Obi-Wan,);
“Whatever man, this right here is BOGUS.”
III. Luke whines at Obi-Wan about how he can’t leave for Alderaan while Obi-Wan suppresses an episode of full-blown Skywalker-induced PTSD (Episode 4);
Obi-Wan’s withering expressions in this scene ARE MY LIFE.
IV: Luke gets all whiny and defiant at Yoda and Force Ghost Obi-Wan as he bolts on them (Episode 5).
“Whatever man, I’m so outta here and you can’t tell me what to do.”
V: Kylo Ren is foiled and goes absolutely apeshit and wrecks up the place (Episode 7). (NOTE: I would like you all to know that I found this gif by literally searching for “Kylo Ren Tantrum Gif”. Ha.)
This dude is in his 30s. GET A GRIP, KYLO. Damn.
You will, of course, notice that all these little episodes seem to be coming from men in the same gene pool. Just saying.
Anyways, speaking of angry tirades, Anakin proceeds to go on one in Palpatine’s office now as he bitches about how he cannot believe the Jedi won’t do more to catch the guy who murdered his one true love master and best friend.
Palpatine, never more at home than when he’s in the midst of an unnecessarily elaborate evil scheme, throws a few of these out there for good measure:
He drops the location of Rako Hardeen to Anakin, in an attempt, of course, to lure him over there.
Recurring Theme: When You Do What You Love, You Won’t Work a Day in Your Life
Palpatine then starts creepily working him over, as usual, and Anakin falls for it because of course he does.
He then says this as he sends Anakin off to probably murder someone for him:
…at which Anakin thanks him and tells him he won’t regret it. Naturally, Palpatine agrees and man, this dude is just savoring the evil, isn’t he?:
…let’s revisit this thought on Death Star II, though.
Three Musketeers
Back on Nal Hutta, Bane and Eval meet up with Undercover Kenobi at a bar and, I’m sorry, but this shot of Obi-Wan is killing me. This man can literally NOT STOP POSING.
Oh, I’m sorry: I didn’t see you there. WINK!
…after a brief physical altercation, the three ultimately forge a truce:
They head back to the new ship that Obi-Wan has secured with the allowance Mace Windu wired him.
Anakin and Ahsoka arrive shortly thereafter, and Ahsoka asks him why he thinks Hardeen is here, which is funny to me only in that she evidently waited until they got ALL THE WAY OVER HERE before asking him this question. Anakin tells her he got a hot tip from Not-Evil Uncle Palps, and they need to go check out the places where lowlifes hang out.
So, they head over to the same saloon that Hardeen, Bane and Eval just left. Anakin makes a big ol’ show of throwing stuff around with the Force so that everyone knows what a badass he is, and the bartender informs him that he just missed the three fugitives.
Recurring Theme: Your Dark Side is Showing
Anakin presses for more information and when the guy tries to demand money in return, he goes Partial Vader and Force-chokes the information out of him instead:
Recurring Theme: Anakin Skywalker, Problem Child
Back on Coruscant, Mace Windu is asking Rex where the hell Anakin’s gotten to, because it’s past his bedtime and he’s not returning calls and it’s a school night.
Rex tells him Anakin’s unavailable, and as Windu’s pressing for more information, Palpatine shows up and fills him in:
Windu says the following to Yoda after getting off the call, and really: this could pretty much be a summary of the full film saga and the overall storyline of the entire franchise in a single sentence:
They’re torn: if they warn Obi-Wan that Anakin’s coming after Hardeen, it could blow his cover. On the other hand, they now have Angry Crazypants Anakin on the loose gunning for Obi-Wan, which is usually not a good thing. At the very least, someone’s likely to lose a limb.
Ghosts of Star Wars Future: One or Both of These Guys Will Die Trying to Kill Each Other
Yoda ultimately tells Windu they have to warn both Anakin and Obi-Wan, after saying this:
I feel kind of sad for Yoda here, because his vibe throughout this arc is sort of an uneasiness about where all of this is heading as regards those two. But, of course, that uneasiness will change nothing and everyone’s doomed, so. Whatever. Anyways.
On Nal Hutta, Anakin’s getting the dirt from the guy who sold Hardeen his latest ship that they’re likely to be close by still – because he only gave them enough fuel to get to a nearby filling station that his brother owns. Heh. Oh, Star Wars. Anakin and Ahsoka head off in pursuit of the Fugitive Three.
Ladies and Gentlemen, One of Ahsoka Tano’s Best Lines
The Three are indeed at the filling station as predicted, and they’re just pulling away as Anakin and Ahsoka arrive. Ahsoka points out Cad Bane, and when asked how she can be sure it’s him, she says this:
I love Ahsoka. I do.
Recurring Theme: Then I Will Avenge His Death
They take off after them and Anakin goes full-throttle and JUMPS OUT onto the surface of the fleeing ship. Obi-Wan attempts to go after him, but he gets shut down by Cad Bane:
What follows is a wild skirmish where Cad Bane and Anakin fight it out on the ships’ exterior, Ahsoka trails them and everyone is both trying and not trying to kill each other in one combination or another. Ultimately both ships end up crashing after Obi-Wan tosses Anakin off the ship, sending him flying onto a rock.
After his ship crashes, of course, the very first thing Obi-Wan worries about after he comes to is whether or not he might have accidentally killed him Because Love:
He heads off into a dense fog to go find Anakin. After a few paces, Anakin comes flying at him from out of the shadows, so now we’re watching these two try to kill each other again:
NOBODY KILLS OBI-WAN BUT ME DAMNIT.
Don’t You Know Your Sam?
Anakin is moments away, after kneeing Obi-Wan in the groin (ha), from killing him, saying this:
Before he can deliver the final blow, though, Cad Bane steps in and takes over:
Anakin and Bane are fighting it out when Obi-Wan intervenes in an attempt to both save Anakin from getting himself killed (again) and also because I’m sure a small part of him that he would never acknowledge enjoyed this rare opportunity to punch Anakin repeatedly in the face:
“…this is for asking why you had to listen to me! And this is for all the murder! And this is for those 20 fucking years in the desert! And this is for that asshole grandson of yours that your kid is going to NAME AFTER ME.”
He gets him in a chokehold, then warns Anakin by name not to follow him anymore just as Anakin blacks out.
Cad Bane’s about to shoot Anakin while he’s down when Ahsoka appears, guarding him and deflecting the blasts (and OH WHY STAR WARS, these two.) Eval rolls up and tells Hardeen and Bane that the ship is fixed and they need to leave immediately, which effectively saves Anakin’s skin:
LOL at the hat tip.
Recurring Theme: Anakin Loves Obi-Wan, But Is Really Bad At Knowing if He’s Alive or Not
Just so I’m clear, here, Star Wars: what is the actual deal with these two? (Not that; this time it’s a real question.) How come Obi-Wan can be like RIGHT IN HIS ACTUAL FACE RIGHT NOW and Anakin basically has to have it transcribed to him what’s going on even though he even notes that he felt a connection, but 20+ years from now when they haven’t seen each other in ages and Anakin’s gone Full Darksider, all Obi-Wan has to do is be in his general vicinity and Vader’s immediately like “YEP OBI-WAN’S HERE AND HE’S DEFINITELY NOT DEAD, EVERYONE.” I don’t understand. If anything I’d assume he’d be BETTER at Obi-Wan Detection at this point in the timeline.
I suppose this is all meant to show that Anakin was willing to overlook whatever he’d sensed before, because he trusted Obi-Wan not to do something extra like fake his own death. Well, live and learn, Skywalker. Live and learn.
As he comes to, Anakin tells Ahsoka he knows Obi-Wan is alive now, and that they’re going to need to get to the bottom of all this shadiness. The iris wipe shows us out as Ahsoka helps Anakin to his feet.
