The Clone Wars, Season 5, Episode 17: The Snips and Skyguy Detective Agency

tcw-s5-e17-0144 The Clone Wars, Season 5, Episode 17: Sabotage  This is the first episode from this arc. [deep breath] Oh…kay…people. I have had a draft for this episode started for ages and ages and I’m finally gonna do it. Here we go. Get your tissues and your emotional support systems ready for this arc. Here comes Voiceover Recap Guy, and he’s uncharacteristically succinct this time, probably because he knows what a shitshow awaits us: all he’s really got is that Cato Neimoidia is under Separatist attack, and Anakin and Ahsoka are heading into battle in a scene totally not deliberately reminiscent of the opening of Revenge of the Sith. Oh, good. This means this arc’s SURE to be uplifting! (Spoiler: IT IS NOT.)

Recurring Theme: Buzz Droid Attack! tcw-s5-e17-0001

So here they are on the approach to Cato Neimoidia and just kill me now you guys because if Episode 3 is the part of Star Wars where my still-beating heart gets flayed in my chest (and it is), this is at least the part where Star Wars begins sharpening the blade while staring me down murderously. tcw-s5-e17-0002 Snips and Skyguy, BFFs for Life Because What Could Tear Them Apart That Would Be Insane Like If Obi-Wan and Anakin Ever Tried To Kill Each Other, are on approach in their twin Jedi Interceptors and this time it’s Anakin who’s besieged with buzz droids. He’s his usual smug ass self as he Forces them all away: …er, except for the one that drills through the floor of his ship, causing a fire: tcw-s5-e17-0009

Recurring Theme: I’m Not Leaving Without You, Master

Ahsoka is like “hellooooo? You OK over there, dude?” and shortly after this, Anakin loses consciousness. Artoo gives Ahsoka the bad news that Anakin’s not exactly awake at the moment, and also there’s something majorly wrong with his ship’s engines. Ahsoka asks to get a better look, and sees that the underside of Anakin’s ship is completely covered in buzz droids:

Recurring Theme: Slide Into The Finish BONUS Recurring Theme: We Are Still Officially Out of New Dialogue

…and, uh, YEAH, that might be a problem. tcw-s5-e17-0018 Ahsoka, it should go without saying, is amazing and heroic here, beginning the sequence with some Certified 100% Recycled Star Wars Dialogue from the Leia Organa Badass Collection as she tells R7 to pilot her ship for her: tcw-s5-e17-0021tcw-s5-e17-0022 …and wrapping things up with a slide finish and Anakin’s ship, minus Anakin, going over a cliff. Man, I have to tell you: everyone in Star Wars must be CONSTANTLY experiencing deja vu given how often one thing that happens to them parallels something else. (“Wait, did I do this scene already? Oh no, that was with Ahsoka…or Luke…er, someone. It’s all kind of running together now.”) tcw-s5-e17-0023 Ahsoka fears the worst for Artoo, but not to worry: he’s all right! tcw-s5-e17-0025

Recurring Theme: Have I Missed Something?

Anakin comes to, lightly recycles some modified dialogue himself from the Obi-Wan Kenobi Collection, and appears to be OK. But wait — the day is saved! How can that be if his ship is gone and he was out cold? OH WAIT it’s because Ahsoka knows how to get shit done, Skywalker. tcw-s5-e17-0026 Just then, Yoda pings Anakin on holo-Skype and tells him that LOL, sorry you JUST FUCKING GOT HERE and ALMOST DIED doing it, but the Jedi Temple’s been bombed and so we need you haul ass back to Coruscant. Anakin hangs up the holo-Skype call, and it’s hilarious only because he seriously has the face and demeanor of a man who is thinking “like I need more of this bullshit FML” which is really a look Obi-Wan wears far more often. Those two could have made great weary old men together if he had just leaned into his misery instead of trying to fix it.

Recurring Theme: …Who? 

Ohh GOOD, we’re in the goddamn Council room. I had missed it during my brief trip to the Rebels timeline recently. Anyways, you’ll be glad to know it’s daylight hours and Anakin and Ahsoka are here, getting the skinny on the Temple bombing from the usual crew. Ahsoka is shocked: how could someone have done this? And who? Yoda’s like, one thing’s for sure: Yep, this is going to be One of Those Episode Arcs. Clearly, the group has some grim possibilities to contend with, because theoretically, a Jedi could have done this. Ahsoka is like “hey audience, get ready to cry,” as she delivers her next line: tcw-s5-e17-0039

…yep, you just keep on avoiding eye contact with all of us, Anakin. WE SEE YOU.

As a result, Anakin and Ahsoka are getting assigned to solve the case because they were gone at the time of the bombing, so they are much less likely have been involved, plus we know Anakin would never ever ever ever ever attack the Jedi Temple. But as for everyone else? EVERYONE’S a suspect! Yoda cautions them: Anakin is his usual Super Confident Big Deal: tcw-s5-e17-0046 …and with that, Snips and Skyguy are on the case!

Recurring Theme: Anakin Skywalker, Dramatic Irony Incarnate

At the site of the bombing — which is still smoking, so, I guess Anakin and Ahsoka really did haul ass back home, huh? — Anakin muses: tcw-s5-e17-0047 OK, OK, Mr. Chosen One, we know. You feel their pain and also everything else more than anyone ever has ever. Ahsoka is unable to believe it. DOES ANYONE BELIEVE… tcw-s5-e17-0048 Yeah, Tano, how could such a horrible thing happen OMG that would seriously be the worst thing ever and honestly writers JUST GIVE IT A REST. MUST YOU PILE ON TO MY PAIN. Of course, the writers aren’t done with us yet, so Anakin is like Hey, you just never know…


Well GOLLY, TCW writers, I sure hope nobody from this show who we all like goes down that Dark Path or anything! And that this arc isn’t just another item in their “List of Reasons Why They Turned”!

Recurring Theme: Helper Droid

The writers finally decide to back off for 3 minutes so we can advance the plot instead of just wallowing in the Tragedy of Anakin Skywalker a little more. They meet up with a Crime-Solving Robot named Russo: He tells them he’d like to interview the witnesses alone, because: Anakin is like that is Some Grade A Bullshit. You are way exaggerating. Jedi died in that blast too you know! Fine, fine: take Ahsoka. I’ll stay here and pout and try to think of some more Obvious Foreshadowing I can do. Like, maybe I’ll swing by Obi-Wan’s to tell him he’s my best friend and that I can’t imagine anything ever turning us against each other, before writing Palpatine a letter about what an honest man he is.

I see…a happy ending! Because why wouldn’t I?

Recurring Theme: Law and Order: Coruscant

Oh, hahahaha, silly me, to think we might get a reprieve. We start out with Ahsoka and the droid interview injured people in a medical bay.  The first dude they talk to is like COULD A JEDI REALLY HAVE DONE THIS OMG, and then it gets thrown out there:

Hey whaddya know? Ahsoka and I are making the same face at the writers here. LET US LIVE YOU GUYS.

Finally, some dude pipes up that he has some information that doesn’t even have anything to do with indirectly mentioning Anakin’s Turn to the Dark Side, thank GOD: tcw-s5-e17-0062 The man identifies the attacker as a dude named Jackar Bowmani: tcw-s5-e17-0065 This seems to be a solid lead for them, but he also can’t tell them much beyond that: tcw-s5-e17-0066

Anakin Skywalker, Maker of Faces

Anakin arrives to get an update on the 5 whole minutes of interviewing Ahsoka has done, and I die because he walks in and makes an angry bitchface at nothing for absolutely no clear reason. I like to believe that by this point in the timeline he just has random passing mini-Dark Side attacks. tcw-s5-e17-0068 He gets the news that they have a lead, but that they haven’t been able to find the guy yet (though how long, really, could they have been looking at this point?) Anakin says: tcw-s5-e17-0069 You’re right, Anakin. People don’t just disappear. Except for that time that Anakin Skywalker did. Aaaand here we are in the Sad Place again. He says he’ll look into helping find this guy.

War Is Over (If Palpatine Wants It)

tcw-s5-e17-0070 At the Temple, there’s a protest underway on the steps outside the entrance and I’m sorry, but this is not the last time I’ll be pointing out the INCREDIBLE ostentaciousness of the Jedi. LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THOSE STATUES. Holy crap. Real humble, you guys! Anakin shows up here to talk to Cin Drallig, who is standing guard during the protest: tcw-s5-e17-0071tcw-s5-e17-0072 As he displays the image, a woman in the crowd pipes up: Anakin’s in charge of security here, m’lady, so he tells her: tcw-s5-e17-0075 She looks somewhat reluctant, but agrees to follow him.

Anakin Skywalker, Cross-Examiner

Anakin starts in by asking her if she thinks Jackar could be involved and she flips out at him: He doesn’t get very far with her, and clearly feels bad for dumping on a grieving widow and/or wife of a guy who turned evil (don’t worry Anakin, this is like not even close to the worst thing you’ll do to someone who fits THAT description.) He backs off, and leaves to find out what progress Ahsoka and Russo have made.

CSI: Coruscant

Ahsoka is at the scene again, this time enhanced by a full-blown futuristic CSI setup that allows her to determine the source of the blast and a whole bunch of other stuff. Eventually they hit on a key element of the explosion: tcw-s5-e17-0082 tcw-s5-e17-0083 So, their job just got a bit harder. And Jackar could still be at large, planning further attacks. One thing’s for certain: tcw-s5-e17-0085

They Totally Did Other Stuff Today Guys

Back in the Council Room, I summon all of my willpower to avoid mentioning the fact that the Council ARE ALL STILL JUST SITTING THERE WHILE IT GETS DARKER OUTSIDE, and yet fail to stop myself. Mace Windu tells Anakin and Ahsoka that the Senate kind of wants to horn in on their investigation here, because civilians and clones died in the blast, too, and: tcw-s5-e17-0087tcw-s5-e17-0088 Just as Anakin sets in on complaining about this, his comm goes off and he’s informed by Russo that they found Jackar. A breakthrough — yes! OK: tcw-s5-e17-0089 Spoiler alert: this is going to be REALLY unnecessary. The Council exchanges their patented Glances of Worry — my second-favorite of their wordless exchanges, after That Face They All Make When Qui-Gon Tells Them His Crazy Theories in Episode 1.

Promise me you guys will at least light an emergency path along the floor after nightfall, OK?

Recurring Theme: Separation of Arm and Its Owner

Anakin and Ahsoka go to find Jackar and when they do, they’re a little…disappointed. His hand is available for questioning, but, uh… tcw-s5-e17-0092 Well, THAT’S going to make getting his side of the story a little bit harder — it turns out Jackar wasn’t ONLY the bomber… tcw-s5-e17-0093 He had nano-droids in his bloodstream, that then caused the explosion that tore up the hangar at the Temple. Now the question for our Jedi Investigation Squad is: tcw-s5-e17-0094 DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! It’s off to Jackar’s apartment to seek The Truth!

Recurring Theme: The Depressing Dwellings of Almost Everyone In This Series

They arrive at the address, and Ahsoka takes note of how grim this place is AS THOUGH THE TEMPLE IS SO MUCH CHEERIER: Anakin then PICKS THE LOCK OF THIS PLACE WITH THE FORCE TO BREAK IN, and wow: that…kind of sucks? So the Jedi can just pull B&Es whenever they feel like it, technically? Good thing they’re “forbidden” from possessing anything, I guess. Since we all know they all totally follow that rule all the time. Coruscanti: you might wanna add some Jedi-proofing to your security systems. On the plus side, when this whole Jedi thing implodes, at least those few stragglers who survive the apocalypse will have a marketable skill in locksmithing available to them. Maybe that’s how Kenobi afforded his posh desert hut. tcw-s5-e17-0097 The two of them set off in search of clues, tiptoeing their way around the place, and please enjoy these couple of screenshots of Anakin and Ahsoka being Sneeeeeeeeaky: tcw-s5-e17-0102tcw-s5-e17-0103 It’s Ahsoka who spots the Key Clue in the kitchen’s garbage disposal: tcw-s5-e17-0105tcw-s5-e17-0106 Anakin poses the next Big Question: tcw-s5-e17-0107tcw-s5-e17-0108

Recurring Theme: Not Who You Think I Am

Just then, Letta arrives: tcw-s5-e17-0109 After some increasingly tense Q&A about the nano-droids, she agrees to go with them for more questioning… tcw-s5-e17-0115 This is, of course, immediately followed by Letta making a break for it as soon as they get outside: tcw-s5-e17-0118


Letta goes on the defensive: my husband is DEAD, you guys! tcw-s5-e17-0119 Anakin smartly counters:

Ooooooh he’s got you now, lady!

And Ahsoka is NOT feeling good about this, either, and she lays into Letta as well: tcw-s5-e17-0123

Recurring Theme: Anakin Skywalker, Yeller of Things

Anakin dips into his Dark Side Foreshadow Bucket again AND recycles some of his OWN dialogue here as he prods for more information:

Recurring Theme: Someone Attempts to Point Out The Invisible Hand

Letta relents: yes, she did indeed feed the nano-droids to her husband. But you guys don’t get it, you stupid dopey Jedi! This thing is bigger than all of us! The Big Bad Reveal hasn’t even happened yet! tcw-s5-e17-0130 Anakin and Ahsoka take her into custody and tell her that she can do all kinds of explaining back at Jedi HQ. tcw-s5-e17-0132

Recurring Theme: Probably This Conversation Won’t Come Back To Haunt Us

It’s time once again for the Episode Wrap-Up, and with Letta in jail, Anakin and Ahsoka are relieved that the bomber turned out not to be a Jedi because a Jedi destroying the Jedi Temple is the worst possible thing that could ever happen ever. And, as a bonus, they haven’t found any nano-droids elsewhere so the Temple is safe probably forever now. Mace Windu tells Anakin and Ahsoka that sure, it wasn’t a Jedi – this time, which, morbid LOLs all around, then. Again: really, thanks, writers. I had forgotten for like 12 whole seconds that Anakin falls to the Dark Side. Mace continues that the war’s unpopular and there’s no telling how many enemies, internal and external, the Jedi have amassed: tcw-s5-e17-0136 He leaves, and Anakin and Ahsoka, Jedi Detectives are left to have some final Ironic Conversation. Ahsoka: Anakin really should have mouthed “I’m sorry” to me through the fourth wall before moving ahead with his reply because for crying out LOUD, we have multiple episodes left in this arc and I’ve already suffered enough:

Gee, I feel sorry for whoever that is.


You know, Snips: like you. And Obi-Wan. And my own secret kid. Because I AM GOING TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP SO HARD. 

And with that, we are one-quarter of the way through the pain of this arc. Tune in next time, as Ultimate Evil begins to move forward with the most important part of Project Let’s Turn Anakin Skywalker Evil: sever his ties with everyone he loves and sow mistrust and discord all around, and make me throw various objects at the screen in anguish. Sounds fun; see you then! tcw-s5-e17-0144

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Recurring Themes and More

Ahsoka Tano Anakin Is The Worst Employee I Swear to God Anakin Loves Ahsoka Anakin Loves Obi-Wan Anakin Loves Padme Anakin Loves Palpatine Anakin Skywalker - Human Lightning Rod Anakin Skywalker and His Life of Bad Choices Asajj Ventress Bad Ideas of the Jedi Bail Loves Obi-Wan Bail Organa Beru Whitesun Bo-Katan Kryze Boba Fett Bounty Hunters Cad Bane Carnelion IV Chewbacca Count Dooku Crappy Destiny Crystal Quest Dagobah Darksaber Dark Side Foreshadow Darth Sidious Darth Sidious Makes a Guest Appearance as Himself Darth Vader Darth Vader Screws Himself Over Electrocution Enough of That Old Trauma Let's Start Experiencing Some New Trauma Faked Death Force Vision Quest General Grievous Geonosis Han Loves Leia Han Solo Holocrons with the Jedi Order's Famous Chili Recipe Hondo Ohnaka I'm More Powerful Than All of You I'm No Jedi I'm Suing This Show For Pain and Suffering I Am a Jedi Jabba the Hutt Jedi Kids Kolara Leia Organa Luke Loves Obi-Wan Luke Skywalker Luke Skywalker's Neverending Personal Destiny Quests Mace Windu Mandalore Martini Drinking Maul More Bummers Brought to You By Anakin Skywalker Mother Pran Mustafar My Ridiculously Circuitous Plan is One-Quarter Complete No One Can See Me With My Hood On Obi-Wan's Life is the Worst Obi-Wan and Anakin Need Marriage Counseling Obi-Wan Brings People Together Obi-Wan Earns That Paycheck Obi-Wan Loves Anakin Obi-Wan Loves Luke Obi-Wan McSassypants and the Angry One Oblivious to the Obvious One More Thing For Obi-Wan To Discuss with His Therapist Ostentaciousness Is Our Speciality Owen Lars Padme Amidala Padme Loves Anakin Palpatine Strikes Again Pre Vizsla Qui-Gon Jinn Revenge of Revenge of the Sith Rex Ridiculous Complexity Sana Starros Satine Kryze Savage Oppress Secret History Reveal Sithtacular Sithtacular Tarkin Tatooine The Beginning of the End Again The Dark Side Stole My Boyfriend The Dark Times The Death Watch Is Not A Shitty Band The Jedi Council's Greatest Hits The Unbearable Sadness of Obi-Wan This Show Is Insane Tragic Backstory Tuskens Undercover Why Are You Doing This To Me Filoni Haven't I Suffered Enough Why Knock When You Can Just Badass Your Way In Wistful Sunset Gazing Yoda You Can Kill Pretty Much Anyone Except Maul

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