The Clone Wars, Season 6, Episode 10: The Lost One
This is the first installment of a four-part arc.
Periodically, Star Wars will remember that it didn’t, like, super-duper explain something to us. And then it will typically do one of two things:
A) Pretend that you don’t need an explanation anyways, greedy viewer, THIS IS OUR VISION OK;
B) Come up with an amazingly silly, convoluted explanation/backstory/plot twist.
Some people in the fandom will tell you that you should prefer Option A, because they claim that we should prefer “the mystery” or that we should come up with our own versions of what happened or whatever. These people are wrong. Option B is indisputably better.
And so we come to the arc in TCW’s Leftover Episode Netflix Burnoff, aka Season 6, where the writers evidently had two thoughts:
- Hmm. We never really gave/got any details on when or how Yoda started talking to Qui-Gon’s disembodied Force Ghost, which is maybe kind of a big deal;
- Oh yeah, that whole Sifo-Dyas thing.
I give them credit for ambitiously deciding to try and squeeze BOTH of these fairly dense topics into one arc, because it means the end result is even more ridiculous.
And so begins the episode arc that I affectionately refer to as Yoda’s Excellent Force Adventure. Off we go!
We start with the moral for our first episode, which is “What is lost is often found,” which is the worst fortune cookie fortune ever. I mean, it’s true, I guess, but not exactly profound. It’s like saying “Sometimes bad stuff gets better, or it doesn’t.” (Which, now that I think about it, would be a GREAT summary of the entire Star Wars canon.)
Recurring Theme: Mystery Distress Signal
The Jedi Temple receives its twelve-thousandth Mysterious Distress Signal of this series, coming from a ship last known to be in the possession of Sifo-Dyas, a Jedi who’s been dead for a long time by this point. Shockingly, the council actually sends Plo Koon to investigate instead of Obi-Wan and Anakin, which I assume means they must have been off on some other insane assignment already, because normally the council is all over sending them off to Mystery Death. (We’ll get there.)
Searching in dense fog and intense winds, the clones and Plo are at first unable to find what they’re looking for…until they do. There in this barren wasteland sits Sifo-Dyas’s ship. It’s a dusty wreck – one that Plo instructs the clones to begin salvaging, because they’re taking everything back to Coruscant with them. Everything, Master?
Amidst the wreckage, he also finds Sifo-Dyas’s lightsaber, which still works:
There is No Close of Business at the Jedi Temple
Back at the Temple, the gang is having a night meeting in Low Light for reasons definitely unrelated to them not having full electricity, and hey, whatddya know, Obi-Wan IS in town!
Plo is holo-Skyping with them, and relaying what he’s learned, and the dialogue here slays me. Mace Windu basically says, “Say, Obi-Wan: wasn’t Sifo-Dyas a Key Plot Point of Episode 2? You know, when you had that wolfman hair? Why don’t you recap that for the viewers at home before we move on in case they forgot about it?”
Recurring Theme: Wistfully Recall the Time We Blew It
After completing Kenobi’s retelling of his 2002 field trip to Kamino, the council then reflect on how Sifo-Dyas used to be on the council himself, but then they kicked him out because he wouldn’t stop blathering on about how the war was coming and they were all doomed. Evidently the council has a strict “No Spoilers” policy.
Sometimes Obi-Wan Understands Things
So they end this session committed to using this turn of events to gather more information about the shadowy, sinister history of the clone army they’ve been using for something like 3 goddamn years already. I’d say better late than never, except that I already know how this ends and honestly, them knowing anything at this point isn’t really going to end up doing anyone any good.
Recurring Theme: The Official Story Might Not Be the Real One
Later, in yet another room with minimal electricity, Jocasta Nu is giving a rundown of the Story of How Sifo-Dyas Died.
The story is that he went to Felucia to negotiate some kind of peace treaty, and was killed/never returned.
Sifo-Dyas: we hardly knew ye.
Oh, and BTW, the rest of the information about his death is sealed, and I actually chortled aloud when Mace Windu bothered to ask “on whose authority” the record was sealed. Would you like to take a stab at it, reader? WHO COULD IT BE? Honestly, I’m pretty sure Sidious could have pulled the Big Sith Lord Reveal way sooner and just lived openly as his evil self for actual years, and the Jedi would have been like “Well yeah, he’s PROBABLY a Sith Lord, but we should just get some more evidence first. Let’s send Anakin to go talk to him!”
Speaking of Anakin, I’ll also point out that he has now showed up to be briefed (or he and Obi-Wan were already in this dark room totally just talking because they are just friends, and then everyone else showed up and he felt too awkward to leave. Either way.)
Just kidding of course! Ha! Ha! Anakin is here because it’s time for Phase 2 of the mission, which is: send people to Felucia to ask about Sifo-Dyas, and the members of the Skywalker-Kenobi household are the lucky winners.
In the meantime, Yoda’s going to go talk to Palpatine about this sealed-records business, which will definitely result in him getting the truth.
My Little Green Friend
In Uncle Palps’ office, Yoda asks him what the deal was with sealing the record on Sifo-Dyas. Palpatine pretends he has zero idea about anything and suggests that Yoda go talk to former Chancellor Valorum – he was Chancellor when these records were sealed, after all. (EVIL SMIRK/SLIGHT CONCERN)
I think he’s cool with adding to yours though, Yoda.
Yoda heads out, disappointed, and as soon as he does he gets a holo-Skype from Team Handsome, who have spoken to the Felucians. Obi-Wan says they were hard to understand, but evidently Sifo-Dyas possibly had another Jedi with him at the time that he was on Felucia. Other than that, they learned basically not much else, and probably spent a good 75% of the rest of this mission playfully bitching at each other while winking.
Recurring Theme: The Secret Life of the Jedi
Yoda chats with Former Chancellor Valorum, and this scene’s kinda interesting in that Yoda is told that Sifo-Dyas did a whole bunch of work for the Chancellor in helping to crack down on the GFFA equivalent of drug cartels, run by the Pykes, and all of this is news to Yoda.
Yeah, but there’s a lot of things you guys don’t know about, so.
Eventually Valorum recalls the fateful trip when Sifo-Dyas got sent to Felucia, and notes that the only person with him was not a Jedi – it was Valorum’s personal assistant, Silman, who was also killed on that mission/has not been seen since. He’s not aware of any other Jedi having been with them.
And You Thought Your Boss Was A Hardass
Meanwhile, Sidious is holo-Skyping with Count Dooku and demanding to know why the Jedi are suddenly asking about all of this. He orders Dooku to eliminate any remaining threads that could tie them back to the conspiracy. He also long-distance force chokes him to get his point across for good measure, as one does.
Let’s Review With Anakin and Obi-Wan
Back in a room with no lights (you know what, reader? Just ASSUME the lights are never on anywhere. If Obi-Wan and Anakin do ever find themselves in a well-lit room in the Temple, I will let you know,) Obi-Wan is running through the list of weird things they’ve figured out so far:
- They still don’t really know what happened to Sifo-Dyas except that he died
- He might have had some other Jedi with him that they have no record of
- Apparently the then-Chancellor’s attache, this Silman guy they knew nothing about, was with Sifo-Dyas when he died
Anakin notes that Silman and Sifo-Dyas were sent to Oba Diah (LOL ‘k Star Wars.) He also points out that Silman, in his file photo, is wearing a unique piece of jewelry:
Yoda tells The Handsome Twins that it sounds like SOME Jedi he knows are on their way to go talk to the Pykes! Don’t they look excited about it, too?
Oh. Good.
Recurring Theme: Bizarre Throne Room
The boys arrive at their destination, and enter the 246th bizarre throne room of this series, to speak with Minister Lom of the Pyke people. He says it’s been like FOREVER since he’s seen a Jedi in town, and Obi-Wan starts in on some fact-finding while Anakin makes a bitch face to himself:
Lom confirms that Sifo-Dyas was indeed there at one point, but he’s long gone.
Anakin counters that Sifo-Dyas’ ship was found crashed on a moon orbiting this planet, and the guy basically just rebuffs him — they don’t know nothing about nothing. Hey, who wants some booze? I’ll give you one guess who’s gonna take up that offer.
Please take a moment to appreciate Anakin’s face here. This is the face of a man who has carried Obi-Wan out of too many bars.
Before they start in on their drinks, Obi-Wan takes note of the fact that the guy is wearing Silman’s necklace, leading to this sneaky setup:
…and Anakin Force-pulling it off the guy and just LOOK at these two for a damn second because I tell you, they are too much:
The Clone Wars, Or: The Heroic Adventures of Obi-Wan McSassypants and The Angry One
Lom says this in response, which is hilariously, epically untrue:
Sure, in a “not really” sort of way…
As it turns out, the assistant to the Chancellor who had accompanied Sifo-Dyas isn’t dead after all — he’s being held prisoner by the Pykes, and they agree to allow Anakin and Obi-Wan to go meet with him.
Previously, On Star Wars…
As they head towards the guy’s cell, Lom tells them that the Pykes made alliances with several people over the years, and one was with a man named Tyranus. Obi-Wan jumps into narrator/”previously” recap mode to aid the audience in remembering where we might have heard that name before:
Lom tells our guys that Tyranus wanted someone to murder Sifo-Dyas for him, so they took his money in exchange for shooting down Sifo-Dyas’ ship and killing him. Silman, however, survived the crash, which they discovered when they went to retrieve Sifo-Dyas’ body to send to Tyranus as proof. They didn’t tell Tyranus about this extra guy they found, though. They figured he might be handy to have on hand as a bargaining chip later.
So, into Silman’s cell they go, only to discover that the dude is a total fruitcake now from having been kept in captivity for a zillion years. That might make their task of getting information out of him a wee bit harder:
Meanwhile, Count Dooku arrives to do a little TCB:
Obi-Wan and Anakin try to ask Silman what happened to Sifo-Dyas, and in a long, rambly fashion, the guy says he’s dead: they were tricked. But not by the Pykes. By someone who wanted to be Sifo-Dyas. Obi-Wan is like, huh? why? and just as Silman is about to drop the bombshell…
…yep, he starts choking. Aww, look, Obi-Wan: Grandpa’s here!
Let the badassery commence!
The Pykes roll up shortly after this battle starts, and tell Tyranus (gasp!) to take a hike. Obi-Wan, again, is like HUH?
Dooku is like, uh, DUH KENOBI, I told you basically all of this in a weirdly cryptic way that one time I took you prisoner on Geonosis. Remember? HELLO, you handsome idiot! He claims that Sifo-Dyas helped him because “he saw the future.” He also notes, again:
Nah that’s OK I’ve already got an evil best friend, Dooku, but thanks anyways!
Recurring Theme: Ultra-Dramatic Transportation
THEN, Dooku does some Force-Pushing, the Kenobi-Skywalkers do some Force-Pushing, and eventually Dooku gets away riding atop a ship, because riding on top of your ship for drama is something that I guess happens when you go Darksider? Either that, or this is just a proud tradition for people trained by this particular line of Jedi/Jedi Defectees. (See also, Star Wars: Rebels, shown in the second image below):
…I’d like to say that the opposite-side-of-the-shot setup in these clips was unintentional, but who are we kidding? You know the nerds that write this stuff did their homework and they were not about to pass up the chance for some Patented Star Wars Mirroring.
Recurring Theme: Anakin Skywalker, Extra Extra
Not to be deterred by the fact that Dooku is actively FLYING AWAY, Obi-Wan tells Anakin he’ll give him a push, and Anakin launches across the sky onto the top of Dooku’s ship, where Anakin continues to fight him. Please note how far he is jumping, as shown by the red circle in the image below pointing out the teeny speck that is Anakin Skywalker in this shot:
Wheeeee!
Dooku eventually sabotages the ship they’re on and hops into his solar sailer, all but waving at Anakin as he takes off:
Recurring Theme: Bad Decisions Are Our Spe-ci-al-i-ty
Back in the Council room, Obi-Wan and Anakin are holo-Skyping with the family. And the discussion here is best laid out in script form:
Yoda: HUH. SO. Looks like Ultimate Evil went and built us a damn army. OK then. Probably not a good sign.
Mace Windu: …Yep. But if we tell people we fucked up this badly, the support for the war effort will tank and that would be Bad.
Yoda: Agreed. We better cover this up. We can’t even tell the Chancellor who definitely doesn’t know about all of this already.
Anakin: [pouts, is internally sad because the Chancellor is like SUCH A GREAT GUY and he totally has no idea about this clone army creation stuff and OMG I don’t like to keep secrets from him sob!]
Yoda: Plusalso we all like the clones, guys, right?
[everyone nods]
Mace Windu: We sure about this?
Yoda: Nah. Ultimate Evil is pulling all the strings here. But whatevs, we’ve got no choice for now! Onward!
…but still: what a wild ride to the bottom it’s gonna be for us all, amirite?!
And with that, we head out to the iris-wipe for this installment, and wind up queued up for the true beginning of the Force Vision Quest. Til next time!
