Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Obi-Wan is at Peak Sass; Hondo tries to make a deal; the boys totally get drunk with some pirates.
The boys reconnect with their wayward grandfather; Hondo’s lifelong love for the Jedi is born.
Naboo’s in trouble again, and Padme knows just the dorks to help her save the day.
Cad Bane continues to be one of the most competent people in the galaxy; Anakin continues to be kind of a subpar employee.
Obi-Wan travels to Mandalore, Historical Home Planet of Badasses and Great Loves That Never Were.
Anakin learns that Obi-Wan has feelings too; Mandalore owns a space cruise ship for some reason.
The Clone Wars, Season 2, Episode 14: It’s Always the Ones That, In Hindsight, You Really Should Have Suspected
Satine has a record number of hissy fits; Palpatine and Co. lose this round.
Team Handsome and their daughter head to Felucia to save some farmers and hang with bounty hunters; Crazy Uncle Hondo crashes the party.
Ahsoka gets punished for behavior she undoubtedly learned from her Space Dads; the Jedi sort of try to stop Cad Bane from stealing from them.
Anakin decides to unwittingly play into Palpatine’s schemes to prevent the death of a loved one. (Note: this is not a recap of Episode 3.)
The Jedi win but lose; Palpatine loses but wins.
Anakin learns that Padme had a life Before Skywalker, and he handles this news with his usual calmness.
Obi-Wan and Anakin lovingly bicker their way through the episode even though Obi-Wan is maybe about to die; Ahsoka and Anakin have a little friendly competition.
TCW’s back with more Zombie Action; Obi-Wan is the Republic’s biggest nerd.
Anakin learns that his destiny kinda sucks.
The gang fails to escape the weirdness of Mortis; Ahsoka gives Anakin a chance to see what it’s like to be the one without Crazy Eyes.
Anakin and Obi-Wan talk things out at a volcano; the gang finally escapes Crazytown.
Ahsoka takes after Anakin, much to Anakin’s irritation (and Obi-Wan’s delight); Tarkin is an asshole pretty much right out of the gate.
Padme goes to visit Satine; martini-drinking and mystery-solving ensues.
Ahsoka teaches some kids a lesson in Being Awesome; I have questions about Satine’s nephew.
The fate of the universe rests on Padme’s ability to serve a fruitcake; Artoo takes a spa day.
Ziro the Hutt learns the eternal truth of Star Wars romance; Quinlan Vos and Obi-Wan go on a very jump-filled date; a couple people get some great nicknames.
The Family encounters a race of slavers; Obi-Wan is bringing it despite his usual terrible workday.
Obi-Wan hands the Flirt Baton to Anakin; everyone gets electrocuted again.
Ahsoka gathers up all of her dads and they kick some serious ass; Rex is no Jedi.
Lux is a burden; Ahsoka is a badass; the Death Watch are assholes. Nothing new here, really.
Obi-Wan fakes his own death, and Anakin takes it pretty much as well as you’d expect.
Obi-Wan bonds with some criminals; Anakin senses a handsome ginger disturbance in the Force; Ahsoka makes fun of Cad Bane’s hat.
Anakin is miffed and worried; Obi-Wan competes in the Universe’s Most Insane Competition.
Obi-Wan finishes his poorly-conceived assignment; Anakin gets electrocuted a whole bunch of times.
Dooku has a rough night; Grievous throws down; stupid men ruin Ventress’ Dark Magic sorority.
Maul gets himself a brand-new pair of legs; Obi-Wan doesn’t even seem especially surprised that his life sucks this much anymore.
Maul and Savage join forces with the Death Watch, because TCW hates me.
Pre Vizsla finds out the hard way that the Sith are assholes; Satine has a bad day at work.
Maul lives to fight another day; Obi-Wan gets screwed by the writing staff again.
Anakin and Ahsoka get placed on a path heading to Nothing Good; the Jedi have no idea how screwed they are (as usual.)
It’s the beginning of the end for Snips and Skyguy.
Ahsoka works to clear her name but ends up looking twice as guilty; Anakin thinks he’s having a bad day now but doesn’t even know what he’s in for.
Maul tries to buddy up to some pirates in his latest attempt to ruin Obi-Wan’s life; Sheev’s got an idea.
Snips and Skyguy come to the end of the line.
Darth Vader inadvertently trains his own enemies; Ahsoka Teenagers out.
We’re headed to Ilum this time on a Very Special Journey.
Having survived the first part of their assignment, the Jedi Kids Club takes to the sky — and runs into the Jedi Order’s Crazy Drunk Uncle.
Palpatine is shady as hell; Dooku has performance goals to meet; Yoda is starting to realize they might all be screwed.
Yoda connects up with the afterlife; Sneak Previews abound.
Yoda’s quest takes him to a Force Convent; Artoo’s gig as his chauffeur is not quite done yet.
TCW Journey of Delightful Craziness comes to an end; Yoda meets Darth Bane and does a quick dress rehearsal for his big fight with Sidious.
Part of Palpatine’s special order arrives too early; Fives doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into.
Palpatine’s got a New Plan; Anakin is not coming out of this one without a little more Dark Side.
Sheev makes some big gains; Anakin loses major ground in his own battle; I do a lot of anguished yelling.
Anakin and Padme’s marriage is maybe temporarily saved by convenient carnage; everything’s coming up Palpatine.
Anakin’s getting worse at not Raging Out at people; animals — like all people — love Obi-Wan.
Team Handsome discovers a key component of Krennic’s Folly; Anakin asks Obi-Wan a question that will haunt him (and me) forever.