Doofus King of Smugglertown: A Star Wars Story

So, Han Solo movie! We saw it! We liked it just fine!

It was not a Life-Changing Star Wars Experience or anything, but I wasn’t expecting it to be (nor do I think it was ever trying to be.) I have to admit that my initial reaction to the rumors that this was going to be the first in a series of sorts was “whyyyy”, but given the setup in this film I’m good with that. I’d see the next installment (not that it takes much to get me to sign up for more Star Wars, but whatever.) I have to say the heist plots are all getting a little same-y, though.

I thought Alden did a nice job! (And let’s be real, taking on that role had to be intimidating as hell. We all know how chill and kind certain contingents of the Star Wars Fandom are about someone touching their beloved OT characters, or really just doing anything involving Star Wars at all whatsoever without their personal express written consent.) I liked that Han is not just a smug snarky womanizing asshole 100% of the time in this movie, which I was very, very wary of when they first announced it. He had a sweetness to him, which is as I felt it should be (even if I will always laugh recalling the time I referred to him as the “Doofus King of Smugglertown” on this site. He may be an idiot, but — just like basically 99% of the entire cast of this franchise — he’s our idiot and we love him.)

Random stuff: I thought the cast overall was enjoyable to watch. I greatly enjoyed the extensive Cape Action and Donald looked fantastic. I laughed out loud that the Empire’s recruitment video USES VADER’S THEME SONG. My husband and I both felt like the action sequences dragged a little/could have been condensed. It felt a little long at times. The dialogue was fine, although Disney-era Star Wars still feels a little too sarcastic/too much like it’s trying to be cool to my ears. (But we all know about my soft spot for the Star Wars cornball dialogue of yore.)

Also: all right, so, obviously I have to acknowledge Maul. MAUL. A few years ago when this latest crop of Star Wars content started coming out, I would absolutely never have believed they’d have the balls to put him of all people in a movie again. We all know how I feel about Star Wars just going for it with the craziness and tying in stuff from other content, thus making this the Biggest Most Ridiculous Story Ever Told, so it perhaps goes without saying that I really appreciated this. I am SO GLAD that somebody FINALLY brought back a little Duel of the Fates for us in the soundtrack, too. I look forward to watching Maul’s continued Insane Plotting and Eventual Obitine Vengeance Shrine Construction. (OH IF ONLY THE DARKSABER HAD BEEN THERE.) (Psst, nerds: put it in the next one and I will mail Lucasfilm an Edible Arrangement or a box of Omaha Steaks or a nice floral arrangement or something.)

AND I was cracking up last night as I watched that part, not simply because ROBOMAUL WAS IN A MOVIE, even though that alone obviously mandates laughter. No, I was also laughing because there’s that guy, still out there, still evil, being a crime lord and hanging with shady syndicates and so on, and THE ENTIRE REASON HE WENT INTO THIS LINE OF WORK IN THE FIRST PLACE IS BECAUSE OF HIS HATRED FOR OBI-WAN. IT IS ACTUALLY ALL OBI-WAN’S FAULT. (Don’t tell Anakin I said this, even though this does mean that Anakin was actually somewhat correct during his Attack of the Clones Temper Tantrum.) (And OK fine, technically it’s still all Sidious’ fault because of course it is but whatever.) Poor Obi-Wan! The guy’s not even remotely involved in the action here (he’s over in the desert while all this is happening, probably brushing a bantha’s fur and crying inside about his and Anakin’s Tragic Love while getting a sunburn,) and yet Maul’s out there wreaking havoc across the galaxy in part because this is Step 5,428 in his plot to ruin Obi-Wan’s life (for like, the third or fourth time).

…what do you know? I can even make myself sad about Obi-Wan while talking about the Han Solo movie that has nothing to do with him. What can I say: it’s a gift.